So this is it. There's no jackpot happening; nor is there a fortune awaiting to be accidentally chanced upon. Noble prize seems like an alternate reality, and being a prime minister/president doesn't figure on the horizon!
Naah, not that I have really wanted any of the above...I mean I would like to believe if I really really wished for these, I would have tried working on it seriously, rather than make lazy wishes on an unmade bed!
So, what is it? Well, I turned 29 this week, which basically leaves me with only one year before I hit the deadly, deadly number 30! I don't know if I feel older, but I have begun to wonder how long will the 18 till I die anthem offer consolation. Isn't there a magical optimism and effervescence, however misplaced it may seem, about being closer to 20 than 30! The paranoia starts right about when you turn 26 (read about my panic attack here), and only worsens as the candles on the cake increase.
Trust me, I have already started reading through lists of things to do before you turn 30, and it's not helping! Most of them seem frivolous. Now, how does it matter if you have jumped off a plane or not?
As for the horror stories, 30s can't be all about expanding waistlines, receding hairlines, and budgets and bank balances, can they? Fortunately, I also hear assuring tales of more confident living and stable relationships. Sigh.
As to how my 30s will turn out, only time will tell (and there's not much left anyways before we find out - buaahhhhaaaa :( :(! I could have waited.
While I take my time to bid adieu to youth, as it were, and brace myself for true, true middle age, I would love to hear your take on the unseemly number, people call age!
And I mean "greener" pastures more literally than anything else.
If you have been following me on my blog, you do not need a recap of all the trillion times I have cribbed about our stay in the desert. Well, here's an important lesson: if you crib hard enough and long enough, looks like god does intervene!
We have moved across the country - all the way from Arizona to Virginia. And inspite of the obvious downside of a move: the distance, the packing, the organizing, apartment hunting, re-settling down, etc. etc., guess what, I am not complaining. At any given point of the day, the temperatures are atleast 20 degrees lower. There are no blast furnaces burning on your face when you open the door and the sun stays well withing its limits. Not to, ofcourse, mention the pleasant green everywhere.
We are far from settling down just now, but I thought it is never too early to announce the closure of the desert diaries; greener pages should start soon :D.
However disturbing, grave or poignant the news maybe, there are so many people who find the time, patience and inclination to share their completely subverted and perverted vision with the whole e-world. And that usually makes for a very interesting, and more often that not, very hilarious reading.
I am not trying to take a high moral stand here saying that only my opinion is right, but that so many people have such shocking views that they feel are right, is what baffles me. Vish and I are often exchange such comments and together wonder at the diversity (and absurdity?) of the human consciousness.
Here are some examples:
In articles where a woman has been reportedly harassed, molested or sexually assaulted, there will always be these front running patriarchs who will find fault with the woman. "Why was she alone?" "For the kind of clothes she was wearing, she deserved it" "I am sure she provoked the guy/s". "Women are cause of all trouble."
In articles where harassed women in live-in relationships have committed suicide, our moral police step up their act. "This is what happens when you try to ape western culture." "The woman's character has led to this." "Why wasn't she married; she wouldn't be harassed if she was married to the guy".
In articles that report the accused man has been arrested, staunch believers in the supremacy of "man"kind retort: "Why only men are blamed for harassment of women, why not the other way round?" "Maybe she provoked him into raping her." "She should get married to him instead of putting him behind bars." "Men will be men, women should protect themselves." "Why aren't wives/girlfriends arrested when husbands/boyfriends commit suicide?" And this is a genuine gem: "Can you please tell me which company the accused was working in? I am looking for a job and I am sure his position is now vacant."
In articles discussing power failure in India, patriots suddenly arise from nowhere. "India is better off than other countries, unlike the developed nations atleast our lives don't come to a full stop when the electricity goes of." One Sri Lankan wrote, "Sri Lanka is better", and to that an Indian responded, "Please keep quiet, else we will invade you. The last time we invaded you, we killed your president". Confused as to when India invaded Sri Lanka? So were Vish and I. Thankfully the Indian guy had posted a wiki link. It pointed to the story of Ramayana and Ram's invasion of Lanka.
In articles that talk about sports, especially cricket matches, the range is even better. From abusing each others' countries, to abusing your own players, that too in extreme expletives that I dare not reproduce here!
Ditto as above on Hollywood and Bollywood articles. And I am talking about 100-200 word detailed comments. There's marital advice that goes on for lines and lines; genuine love expressed in fancy vocabulary and even extreme hatred for no specific reason.
And let me not even get into articles that discuss immigration issues or inter religion/community/sect issues. There is a violence in the very wording that is bone chilling. Merciless words are thrown around so irresponsibly, "Gas so and so; nuke such and such country; throw them out", etc. etc.
So what is your opinion on such commentators? At times, I just laugh the comments off but certain comments get me thinking as to what might be the motivation behind such long winded tirades (most anonymously posted or in disguise) that are so distasteful. Do they not realize it? Or is it just a fun exercise - taking the Internet for granted and unleashing your crap in all the spare time you have? A skewed sense of e-freedom, maybe?
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Toddlers and Tiaras...an american reality show that follows the world of child beauty pageants.
This is exactly the stuff that makes me sick through and through. I spoke about negative body image and the acute consciousness of "physical beauty" in youngsters these days in my recent post here.
What do you feel about this very "popular" show on national television that is now in its fifth successful season?
Babies as old as 3 participate in beauty pageants and each episode documents the journey of the preparation. The toddlers are taught how to pose (including the pout and the cat walk), wear weird adult like costumes (forget plunging necklines and backless gowns - they go all the way to copy Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman and Beyonce in her negligees), put make up on (complete with false eye lashes and spray tans), do their hair (sprays, gels, wigs) and finally be confident on stage (this is ensured by giving them energy drinks such as Red Bull etc.).
The end product: Miniatures of the adult modelling world who look plastic, frozen, and, apologies for sounding harsh, plain disgusting.
Who's to blame: Ofcourse, the parents! One can't help but notice that the parents are the ones dying for the limelight, that fleeting moment of glory; that grandeur and life they could never lead, which they now want to live through their babies. They make outrageous claims such as 'it is the child's heartfelt desire to be here' (yeah right, at 3, she understand the glamour world so well), or even worse still, 'my daughter's favorite toy is a dilapidated puppet in a wheelchair because she is genuinely empathetic to special children/people' (all this while the poor girl is looking around wide-eyed, understanding nothing and weighed down by the pounds of make up and other paraphernalia on her).
Seriously, what are the Child Protection services doing? They say you can't hit your child but you can put her through all this trauma and emotional harassment? Isn't this child abuse?
My heart goes out to those miserable little ones who are paying the price of having foolish selfish beings for parents. In an age where kids are potty trained, they are forced to walk the ramp and wave out to the crowds and be their cheerful best even if their diapers are soaking wet! The kids can't even cut their own nails, but have elaborate pedicure and manicure sessions planned before the d day! Before they learn their letters and numbers, they should learn success and failure based on physical aspects! We sexualize them to the degree of fake breasts at the age of four, their lives replete with scandalous media stories and gossip already, and then we hope to bring up confident young women who will be the leaders of the future!
Why are we making barbies out of our babies? Do we really need tiaras on our toddlers to validate their essence, beauty and existence? Do we no longer need children - just miniature adults with hollow insides, who will grow up to be even more shallow copies of some evasive body image?
Like I said in a post earlier, have a bunch of items to share with you from the culinary department :).
Somebody mentioned to me the other day, "with all the yummy looking food pictures on your blog, you are undoubtedly a good cook". My response? "Hell, no!" All these brag posts and pictures are after long hours of labor.
So, I thought before beginning, I should clarify that cooking doesn't come naturally to me; I have to put in considerable effort and believe me there are so many fiascoes. The only reason they don't get space on my blog is because, well, they don't make pretty pictures. Imagine me posting the horrible mess of spring rolls the other day, or the dhokla attempt that had to be instantly discarded, or the go at dosas that resulted in rubble on the pan!
With that modest start, here I go.
Venn pongal and tomato gotsu
This is a south indian dish that is fairly easy to make and is now a quick fix dinner solution for both of us. Here are the recipes I followed. On a side note, I am also now a self-proclaimed expert on sambhar and rasam. And what I mean by that is that when I make it Vish is able to recognize it and even throw a compliment my way :D.
Medhu vadai
I followed the standard recipe here. Was not very happy with the results though. The vadais didn't come out fluffy and light like they are supposed; plus shaping the damn things with the hole in the middle was so difficult!
(P.S. The coconut chutney in the picture below is from the local Indian store.)
Masala vadai
One would think I really needed something from hubby dear to suddenly attempt so many south indian dishes :D. I clarify, there was no such intent. This is the recipe I followed. And the dish was a super success. Teamed with tomato ketchup, this is one of the few recipes that came out almost perfect!
Chilli gobhi
I remember learning how to make chilli gobhi during one of our hobby classes in school. This one dish is ideal for a rainy cool summer evening. And I think I did a reasonably good job. Here's the recipe.
Foccacia bread on a griddle
Got this recipe from a reference in my sister in law's blog. She made it primarily for her kids, but I seem to consider it a serious adult food. I end up making it every week but only for myself. Vish dismissed this delicious wonder after the very first bite. He called it "a dosa gone awfully wrong, and a wannabe uthhapam" :(. To reiterate, I absolutely love it.
Low fat banana bread
I am often accused of posting high calorie recipes. Well this one is to satisfy those complaints. This is the recipe I followed. Baking is seldom disappointing and I am so happy that I was not disappointed this time again. This makes a nice moist bread and both of us enjoyed it as an evening snack for almost a week!
Have I not complained enough about the heat in the desert? My husband finds my constant cribbing quite irritating given two facts. One, I am almost-24 hours in air conditioning; and two, I am from Delhi (India), which is also notorious for its summer heat. My miserable lamentations are met with cold dismissals or caustic comments like, "I know it must be tough, especially having been born and brought up next to the Queen in London."
Whatever! I refuse to step out between 8 AM and 8 PM. The world may come to an end for all that I care, I ensure that all work such as travelling, grocery, shopping etc. are either early morning or late night. And so, that leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. I decided to try out something new for a change and here it is.
So, we had these boring glasses for drinking water. Over time they had gotten quite dull, and so I thought, why not make them all cool, and colorful, and swanky. With great ambition, I went about ordering glass paints and other paraphernalia from Amazon, only to realize painting curved slippery surfaces is a completely different ball game from sketching and painting on flat surfaces, which I have somewhat dabbled in.
There was paint everywhere by the time I finished and I had to use rubbing alcohol to clean my hands, clothes and what not. It was quite a messy affair, and for the meanwhile, I have given up my even more ambitious plans of sprucing up the wine glasses and the ceramic ware at home.
Here are some pictures.
The original glasses...
This is the pattern I painted on each glass...
And this is how all of them look now....
One thing I did realize was that maybe I should have chosen bolder and bigger designs, maybe even geometrical ones, for a better finish. Lesson learnt! References to easier patterns are most welcome.
I have already cured the glasses by baking them after drying so that now these have been commissioned back for daily use and are dishwasher safe :).
At some point or the other, some more often, some less, we all have looked at the mirror and exclaimed, "urrghhh, does that have to be me?" It comes to us very naturally. We don't think of us being overtly negative about ourselves - it is more like we hate the "ugly reality". :P
This very human characteristic, I am sure, has been for as long as human beings, and the sense of beauty and desirability, have existed. The social construct of what is the norm of accepted beauty may have been varying between sizes, the current one being set on 0; however across generations, at any given point in time, the majority people do feel they could do with looking better.
It is granted that the homo sapiens is a greedy species, always wanting more than they have. That's the way we are, so why not desire more "physical attractiveness' for one's self! And, very frankly speaking, I have never felt that my life has been severely and adversely affected because I have always hated my skin, loathed my hair, cried buckets because the skinny jeans won't just look good on me, found my fingers and nails too stubby, and even thought of myself as a midget :(. I crib, find consolation in other people's cribbing and move on with life. I think, plastic surgery would not fit my budget and the care and pain involved would be too much for me to bear. :D.
However, over the past few months I have been reading a lot about this whole concept of negative body image and how it is affecting youngsters today. I came across an NGO that works towards helping young girls perceive themselves and their bodies in a more positive way. Though most of the studies and papers I have read focus on America, I understand this seems to be a global phenomenon. Pre-teen girls are developing severe psychological disorders because they simply hate the way they look. The use of make up in kids as young as 5th and 6th graders, the use of push up bras by girls in junior school, the idolization of models and the size zero, the queue of young tots for hair straightening and pedicures and manicures - this whole new generation that is obsessed with the "physical", is , at the very least, frightful and disturbing.
I realize that this is different from the way our generation has grown up (and am not exactly a fossil yet - let's specify the generation as the 80's kids). Only in, say, end of high school or senior school, we realized the power of being slim. We barely could tell the difference between an eyeliner and a kohl pencil. The more "hep" ones among one would dye their hair a coffee color or wear some jazzy nail art. By college, ofcourse we all knew exactly where we were lacking, but somehow life didn't come to a standstill. We moped around and found other distractions.
It is difficult to draw a line as to how much of worrying is okay. But the kind of exposure the children seem to be getting these days, I wonder who can really help. The social pressure has never been so great. Unless you are a Photoshop expert, there's little you can do about the double chin, the flabby arms and acne marks in your 16th birthday bash photographs on FB. It's interesting how YouTube is teeming with instructional videos on photoshop makeovers. Here's one for you...
I wish our mirrors could come integrated with Photoshop technology so that we only saw our beautiful selves, always.
Apparently, more females are dissatisfied about how they look than their male counterparts, which is understandable, considering that is how the focus has been of our society. A man's beauty is never a cause of global concern. However, it would be interesting to note that over the years the number of boys and men fussing or being paranoid about their appearance has increased dramatically. Kids in school are worried about how their muscles are shaping up. I even came across protein supplements for preteen guys, at a local grocery store. Chubby is no longer cute. Boys in middle school want tucked in tummies and muscles and six packs. So much for the victory of gender equality but in what context!
I feel genuine concern and fear over where we all are headed in the decades to come, meanwhile, I have an important message for you. When you see school girls and boys - at stores, parking lots, beaches, family get-togethers, wherever, fretting or not - make it a point to throw a genuine compliment their way - Love your T shirt, Great hair, great skin, lovely eyes. Don't go overboard, though! But, a sincere remark from a stranger or person outside immediate family can do a lot to boost one's self image and confidence. We as a people need to be more consciously appreciative of those around us. That is the only way we can salvage some optimism! What do you think?
I recently watched this very moving film,Amu, which is based on the 1984 riots in Delhi, India. The movie is available for free on YouTube. Here's the link. I strongly recommend each one of you to find time for this 1 hr 45 minute eye-opener so that we realize the atrocities and the inhumanity that our current generations of people are capable of. It is a very simple tale but the stark reality of the events slaps you so hard in your face that you wish you didn't belong to these times.
My belief that genocides and pogroms ended with the closing chapters of the history books on World War II was shattered when the Godhra riots happened in Gujarat in 2002. I was too young to make any sense of the Babri Masjid violence in 1992. The incident did come up every now and then on the mainstream media, and hence, I have some knowledge on the issue.
However, I am ashamed to admit that being a Delhi-ite, in Delhi for so many years, I had absolutely negligible information on the anti-Sikh riots following the assassination of the then prime Minister of India, Indira Gandhi. All that was ever discussed, told, was that she was assassinated by her own body guards who were Sikhs, and then there was some obvious back lash. The extent of the brutality and political support with which this "obvious" backlash was carried out has escaped history books, and almost all other kinds of media and even journalism.
After watching the movie, I tried to dig up more information and was astonished to find out that politicians had openly - on the streets and on national TV - instigated and encouraged the genocide. Apparently, no cases were filed in police stations, a few that reached courts were never judged, and those three days of macabre have been blacked out from the consciousness of most Delhi-ites. Nobody talks about it. I read some of the most disturbing accounts where whole families of Sikhs were uprooted. I also went back to history to read about the separatist movements in the Sikh community and the ongoing tension during the time. However, nothing, absolutely nothing, can justify state sponsored violence.
I spoke to my parents about this. We all were in Delhi at that time. I was all of 1! Mom and dad tell me that there was fear among everyone, not just Sikhs alone. Mob violence is blind - it spares no one. Only a couple of hours later, when they saw truck loads of Sikh families being dropped off at the nearby gurudwaras, did they realize that it was the Sikh community that was being singled out and targeted. They told me how everyone knew it was state sponsored, voters' lists were circulated, kerosene provided from state pumps and how mobs used to come back for Sikh families hiding with the neighbors. This all went on for three long days. Mom tells me how all the neighborhood women used to prepare food to smuggle to the gurudwara without being noticed; and the men in the society guard the gates all through the night to ensure none of the Sikh neighbors were hurt. She said they often used to wonder if neighbors are helping and strangers are feeding, then who are these people who are killing?
This particular movie was never allowed to be released in India - we all know why. For those very reasons, apparently, no reasonable literature exists on 1984. Talk about democracy, freedom of expression, and then brushing "history" under the carpet. Since no such chapter exists in history, we will never learn from it. That is my greatest fear.
So, Karnataka's honorable Medical Education Minister raises the following very poignant reasons, which he attributes to the increase in the number of HIV infected people. Please note that he imparted these pearls of wisdom as part of a literacy campaign.
1. "Living in a joint family eradicates the possibility of extra marital affairs."
Ofcourse, AIDS is caused not because of exchange of bodily fluids such as in the case of blood transfusions, use of contaminated needles, sexual intercourse, and breastfeeding. It is caused by extra marital affairs.
Second, only spouses in nuclear families are tempted to "look outside" because they do not have elders watching over them.
2. "Reading of the Ramayana will help in eradicating HIV/AIDS."
The Ramayana teaches us to be loyal, apparently. Take the example of Lord Rama. He had only one wife, Sita, who he abandoned during her pregnancy for fear of public rumor on her chastity. That is the kind of an ideal husband a woman looks for, and a man should strive to be. And then, there will be no extra marital affairs and hence no AIDS.
I am slightly confused, if I read the Ramayana, do I still need to be in a joint family, under the watchful eyes of the elders? Maybe, his honorable minster will condescend to clarify in his next address.
In principle, I am not against the joint family system. It is a matter of convenience. If you get along and the arrangement is convenient for all parties involved; why not? If it causes constant friction and anxiety to any one involved; why?
As for the Ramayana, I do have a lot of issues with the text (which you can read in my post here), but that is also not the issue here.
What concerns me about these remarks is that if the Medical Education Minister does not understand a diseases, it's medical causes, how on earth will he be able to educate or even launch educational and medical campaigns in an effort to spread awareness and promote treatment. With one speech, he has undermined the efforts of all the AIDS campaigns and NGOs who work tirelessly to remove the social stigma attached to the disease.
