Now that the safe net the tag, “I am still in my early 20’s”, assures has been ruthlessly withdrawn by the earthly time clock as I turned 26 yesterday, I am not sure how happy I have been about this birthday go by ;).
Seriously speaking, I never thought I would cross 25. Yeah, I understand nobody is born with the innate desire to grow old, but those who have celebrated their silver jubilee know exactly what I am talking about.
Why this obsession with 26, you ask?
Here are 26 reasons why turning 26 does suck and quarter-life crisis IS a panic situation:
- For the first time in your life you begin comparing pictures of you now and when you were 16 and you CAN spot visible differences.
- You have graduated from a 24” waist to a 26” inch waist with little hiccups, but now will forego shopping rather than having to face the humiliation of trying the 28” pair at Levi’s.
- You have started buying hair fall control products and extra strong conditioners, and would rather neatly tie your hair in a knot than leave them out open to be damaged by the sun and the rain.
- Retirement planning schemes and Public Provident Fund (PPF) savings are not boring topics that only dads discuss; you have started investing in these and take advantage of other tax saving incentives.
- You have initiated serious discussions on role progression and career objectives at work with your boss. A fatter pay check is not all that you want. You now begin to focus on long term goals.
- Your conversations with school friends on latest crushes, movies, hangout zones and girly gossip have been hijacked by discussions on what hubby dearest cribs about, coping with in-laws, and the desperate need to have a reunion cos u haven’t been able to meet for months or even years now.
- Bratty kids in the neighborhood call you “aunty” when they spot you wearing a salwar kameez or a sari – Oh, I hate them!
- Your metabolism rate for burning down Mc Donald’s burgers and Dominoes pizzas has slowed down – the need to work out at the gym has become a looming reality.
- You have still not learnt salsa and merengue and now it seems too late.
- You have begun spending more time and money at the skin care section of the biggest department store in town.
- Pesky relatives and nosey neighbors have started asking you if there is any “good news” yet; usually followed by a quick reproach that we youngsters should not delay taking on our responsibilities!
- You have supposed to have gotten over the acne stage but the occasional pimple still finds its way on your face, right when u were thinking that atleast there’s one trouble off your head.
- Your choice of music and movies, and your fashion sense seems a little removed from the reality of the 18 to 20 year olds.
- The latest male entrants in bollywood are either younger to you or just around your age. Ranbir Kapoor and Neil Nitin Mukesh don’t sound as exciting as Hrithik Roshan and Abhishek Bachhan.
- Even worse than point 14 above, the recent female sirens in bollywood are almost 6 to 10 years younger than you! (Crap, they look way older. Am sure they lie about their age!)
- In surveys and polls, you now figure in the 25-30 age group category. That’s so middle-age.
- You no longer party on week days cos it’s way too stressful and tiring in the middle of work.
- You are no longer naïve enough to hope that you will strike a jackpot or hit it big and become a billionaire. If it hasn’t happened as yet, it’s very unlikely it will happen now.
- You relate well to the word ‘nostalgia’. You feel nostalgic about childhood memories, school fun and college craziness.
- You no longer find it cool to wear a dirty, torn or faded pair of jeans to a friend’s birthday bash.
- You have started planning your wardrobe for work, Friday evening dinner, Saturday night out, Sunday lunch, atleast a day in advance.
- You now feel the need to sound politically and diplomatically correct, be polite and exchange the so uncool niceties and pleasantries (Oh, that black dress looks so good on you, hey, have you lost weight, your skin’s glowing, your hair is lovely) at get-togethers and social gatherings.
- You have all the cash now to buy all those games and toys that your parents thought were useless when you were a kid, but now you too think they are quite unnecessary.
- There’s nothing exciting about turning 26. 13 was the start of teen-age, 16 was oh so sweet, 18 meant you were legally an adult, at 21 you could buy yourself a drink and drive (though not in that order), 24 sounded sexy, at 25 you could rent a car at the normal insurance rate. Nothing at 26 – nothing at all!
- The most important of them all, 26 is too close to 30 (ouch, can’t think of that number).
- And ofcourse, to put it plain and simple, you are too young to be 26. You barely got over your teens sometime back!