Saturday, June 25, 2011

Wisdom Hurts…

And it hurts real bad!

I swear I have a genuine reason to crib this time, so humor me, please!

Ofcourse, you know that wisdom teeth or the third molars are vestigial organs (like the appendix) – basically redundant as over the span of human evolution they have lost their purpose, which was primarily to help grind down plant tissues and other raw foliage.
Now, the only known purpose they serve is to be the butt of jokes and give trouble to unsuspecting homo homo sapiens :P.

Apparently, for 35% of the people, the wisdom teeth never even appear. As far as luck, fate or destiny is concerned, I figure pretty low on the scale, so I am one of the unlucky 65% who have been blessed with complete wisdom (teeth).

A nasty tooth ache took me to the dentist and resulted in surgical “impaction” of my right upper and lower wisdom teeth. Three anesthesia injections and 90 minutes of constant prodding, tinkering, and drilling (the surgeon actually called it that) have not only left me half as wise but also with a swollen cheek (which by the way my MIL insists makes me look nice and chubby – no comments on that!), nagging pain on the right side of the face till the forehead, and a high-cal diet on sweet cold liquids – ice-cream included (stopped counting the oodles of fat I’m putting on in the process).

Gosh! Whoever, said “Ignorance is bliss” was truly wise!

Don’t even get me started on the ordeal the actual surgical process was. I don’t make a very good patient, so I fussed about the blood on the doc’s gloves – he insists I should keep my eyes open – I told him he then needs to wash his hands or change the gloves – there was actually a piece of my bone hanging on his glove – apologies for the grotesque description but just to tell you how unreasonable he was being!
And then there was his assistant who had stinking flowers in her hair (a very common sight in namma Chennai :))– I was already so nauseated and the stench of withering jasmine was getting on my nerves. I told her to get rid of it and she was so shocked! I guess I was the first patient to have done that to her. Sorry lady, don’t take it personally.
The surgeon redeemed himself by first asking me where I was studying (lo behold, the joy in my heart that he thought I was so young :D) and then at the end, saying, “Sorry for the tough time”! Nice dude; I actually was polite enough to manage a ‘thank you’ with all the cotton stuffed in my mouth.

So, while on that deadly chair, I was reminded of this poem we had as part of our syllabus in Grade 10 (if I remember correctly) – written by Ogden Nash, it’s titled, ‘This is going to hurt just a little bit’. For all those who have had to deal with dentists, this poem is a must read! And here it is for your reading pleasure:

“One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head that you aren’t being irked on…”
Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it’s all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won’t get mixed up, the way you do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition
when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.”

[Image source: Google Images]

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

WTF Series: Episode 02: Random Incidents!

So, the CM of Uttar Pradesh, the rape capital of India has dismissed the surge of crimes against women in her state as “Random Incidents”. Here’s the official quote,
“UP is a populous state and we consider such cases as random incidents. It will be wrong to say that such incidents reflect on the ability of the administration”

Very true, with over 199 million people, UP is the most Indian populous state, and the world’s most populous sub-national entity.

Out of these 199 million people, the approximate total number of women would be less than 94 million (now the sex ratio being skewed is a whole new blog post!).

Of these 94 million women, in the last 48 hours, only 6 have been raped – Ofcourse these are random incidents!

I found some statistics around such “random incidents” – mind you, these are only in one financial year and ofcourse include only registered cases. In 2007-08, the state recorded 21,215 cases of violence, including 2,066 cases of dowry death, 1,532 cases of rape, and 3,819 cases of kidnapping.

I have only one question to the authorities concerned – so how many more women and girls should be raped and harassed and killed before we can conclusively state that crime against women is a disease in endemic proportions in so many states of India, especially UP, and needs a coordinated administrative and judicial effort to control it?

Seriously, WTF!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Introducing WTF Series and Episode 01

Now, here’s something new I am thinking of starting – The WTF series! You know there are those times when you come across something really really atrocious and the first and the most emphatic exclamation that you can manage is WTF!...
...There’s nothing really to elaborate or blog about in detail but you cannot simply just ignore and maybe a tweet wouldn’t do full justice to it!

Well WTF series is going to be an episodic succession of such WTF moments (maybe personal ones too), news items, snippets, quotes, conversations, experiences and more! I aim to keep these posts fairly brief – all compiled under the tag WTF.

So how do you like the idea? I would love it if you readers and visitors also contributed to WTF episodes!

So here I go…

WTF: Episode 01

News Item: Maharashtra raises drinking age to 25!
So you can decide who rules the country by exercising voting rights, you can decide who rules your life by marrying them (legally!) and also have children. You can drive, choose a career, get promotions, earn salaries with 5 and 6 digits, have bank accounts, trade in stocks and shares, change your religion or citizenship, if you wish, and even smoke, BUT you cannot drink alcohol.
Seriously, WTF!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Washed away!

An exquisite pearl nestled on
the delicate bend of
a verdant olive blade;

That gentle venerate breeze
was just beginning to attempt
to court the demure divine bead;

When that sullen dark sky
bellowed in distraught,
and let out its fury.

The deluge that followed
washed away the traces
of what might have been
a wonderfully romantic morning.

(P.S. Please indulge me, I am trying to find my way back.)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Wild Wild West

Yeah, it's been long - but guess what - I have been busy, but this time, busy holidaying :). Holidaying in the far far west - the desert state of Arizona.
And here I come only to share with you the striking aspects of my vacation so far!

The summer months - May onwards - are dry and hot and when I say hot, I don't mean the pleasant English summer but the dry, dehydrating heat - If you are from Delhi or around and have experienced the months from April to August, you know exactly what I am talking about. Add to that the direct sun that is in your face for almost 15 hours a day - 7 days a week!
The skies are usually bright and clear with the occasional clouds over the distant southwestern mountain ranged that make for a breathtaking sight especially at sunsets.

What is also awe-inspiring are the huge cacti - tall and stately - they almost form the state emblem of AZ!

I have been in and around the cities of Phoenix, Tucson, Tempe and Chandler, and the best touristy thing that we did was a visit to Rawhide - an old time western town complete with cowboys, bounty hunters, and guns!

A promising fun package, Rawhide is the closest you can get to the authentic rustic and adventurous life in the 1880's. And here's their theme song for you to get the precise feel I wish to convey :)...

For more details on the attractions, see And if you are anywhere around, you sure don't want to give this one a miss!

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them doggies movin' Rawhide!


Related Posts with Thumbnails