Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers and Tiaras...an american reality show that follows the world of child beauty pageants. 

This is exactly the stuff that makes me sick through and through. I spoke about negative body image and the acute consciousness of "physical beauty" in youngsters these days in my recent post here. 

What do you feel about this very "popular" show on national television that is now in its fifth successful season? 

Babies as old as 3 participate in beauty pageants and each episode documents the journey of the preparation. The toddlers are taught how to pose (including the pout and the cat walk), wear weird adult like costumes (forget plunging necklines and backless gowns - they go all the way to copy Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman and Beyonce in her negligees), put make up on (complete with false eye lashes and spray tans), do their hair (sprays, gels, wigs) and finally be confident on stage (this is ensured by giving them energy drinks such as Red Bull etc.). 

The end product: Miniatures of the adult modelling world who look plastic, frozen, and, apologies for sounding harsh, plain disgusting. 

Who's to blame: Ofcourse, the parents! One can't help but notice that the parents are the ones dying for the limelight, that fleeting moment of glory; that grandeur and life they could never lead, which they now want to live through their babies. They make outrageous claims such as 'it is the child's heartfelt desire to be here' (yeah right, at 3, she understand the glamour world so well), or even worse still, 'my daughter's favorite toy  is a dilapidated puppet in a wheelchair because she is genuinely empathetic to special children/people' (all this while the poor girl is looking around wide-eyed, understanding nothing and weighed down by the pounds of make up and other paraphernalia on her). 

Seriously, what are the Child Protection services doing? They say you can't hit your child but you can put her through all this trauma and emotional harassment? Isn't this child abuse?

My heart goes out to those miserable little ones who are paying the price of having foolish selfish beings for parents. In an age where kids are potty trained, they are forced to walk the ramp and wave out to the crowds and be their cheerful best even if their diapers are soaking wet! The kids can't even cut their own nails, but have elaborate pedicure and manicure sessions planned before the d day! Before they learn their letters and numbers, they should learn success and failure based on physical aspects! We sexualize them to the degree of fake breasts at the age of four, their lives replete with scandalous media stories and gossip already, and then we hope to bring up confident young women who will be the leaders of the future!

Why are we making barbies out of our babies? Do we really need tiaras on our toddlers to validate their essence, beauty and existence? Do we no longer need children - just miniature adults with hollow insides, who will grow up to be even more shallow copies of some evasive body image?

[Image source: Google images]

Hating the person staring back at you from the mirror...

At some point or the other, some more often, some less, we all have looked at the mirror and exclaimed, "urrghhh, does that have to be me?" It comes to us very naturally. We don't think of us being overtly negative about ourselves - it is more like we hate the "ugly reality". :P

This very human characteristic, I am sure, has been for as long as human beings, and the sense of beauty and desirability, have existed. The social construct of what is the norm of accepted beauty may have been varying between sizes, the current one being set on 0; however across generations, at any given point in time, the majority people do feel they could do with looking better.

It is granted that the homo sapiens is a greedy species, always wanting more than they have. That's the way we are, so why not desire more "physical attractiveness' for one's self! And, very frankly speaking, I have never felt that my life has been severely and adversely affected because I have always hated my skin, loathed my hair, cried buckets because the skinny jeans won't just look good on me, found my fingers and nails too stubby, and even thought of myself as a midget :(. I crib, find consolation in other people's cribbing and move on with life. I think, plastic surgery would not fit my budget and the care and pain involved would be too much for me to bear. :D.

However, over the past few months I have been reading a lot about this whole concept of negative body image and how it is affecting youngsters today. I came across an NGO that works towards helping young girls perceive themselves and their bodies in a more positive way. Though most of the studies and papers I have read focus on America, I understand this seems to be a global phenomenon. Pre-teen girls are developing severe psychological disorders because they simply hate the way they look. The use of make up in kids as young as 5th and 6th graders, the use of push up bras by girls in junior school, the idolization of models and the size zero, the queue of young tots for hair straightening and pedicures and manicures - this whole new generation that is obsessed with the "physical", is , at the very least, frightful and disturbing.

I realize that this is different from the way our generation has grown up (and am not exactly a fossil yet - let's specify the generation as the 80's kids). Only in, say, end of high school or senior school, we realized the power of being slim. We barely could tell the difference between an eyeliner and a kohl pencil. The more "hep" ones among one would dye their hair a coffee color or wear some jazzy nail art. By college, ofcourse we all knew exactly where we were lacking, but somehow life didn't come to a standstill. We moped around and found other distractions. 

It is difficult to draw a line as to how much of worrying is okay. But the kind of exposure the children seem to be getting these days, I wonder who can really help. The social pressure has never been so great. Unless you are a Photoshop expert, there's little you can do about the double chin, the flabby arms and acne marks in your 16th birthday bash photographs on FB. It's interesting how YouTube is teeming with instructional videos on photoshop makeovers. Here's one for you...

I wish our mirrors could come integrated with Photoshop technology so that we only saw our beautiful selves, always.

Apparently, more females are dissatisfied about how they look than their male counterparts, which is understandable, considering that is how the focus has been of our society. A man's beauty is never a cause of global concern. However, it would be interesting to note that over the years the number of boys and men fussing or being paranoid about their appearance has increased dramatically. Kids in school are worried about how their muscles are shaping up. I even came across protein supplements for preteen guys, at a local grocery store. Chubby is no longer cute. Boys in middle school want tucked in tummies and muscles and six packs. So much for the victory of gender equality but in what context!

I feel genuine concern and fear over where we all are headed in the decades to come, meanwhile, I have an important message for you. When you see school girls and boys - at stores, parking lots, beaches, family get-togethers, wherever,  fretting or not - make it  a point to throw a genuine compliment their way - Love your T shirt, Great hair, great skin, lovely eyes. Don't go overboard, though! But, a sincere remark from a stranger or person outside immediate family can do a lot to boost one's self image and confidence. We as a people need to be more consciously appreciative of those around us. That is the only way we can salvage some optimism! What do you think?

[Image source: Google Images]