WTF Series: Episode 02: Random Incidents!

So, the CM of Uttar Pradesh, the rape capital of India has dismissed the surge of crimes against women in her state as “Random Incidents”. Here’s the official quote,

“UP is a populous state and we consider such cases as random incidents. It will be wrong to say that such incidents reflect on the ability of the administration”

Very true, with over 199 million people, UP is the most Indian populous state, and the world’s most populous sub-national entity.

Out of these 199 million people, the approximate total number of women would be less than 94 million (now the sex ratio being skewed is a whole new blog post!).

Of these 94 million women, in the last 48 hours, only 6 have been raped – Ofcourse these are random incidents!

I found some statistics around such “random incidents” – mind you, these are only in one financial year and ofcourse include only registered cases. In 2007-08, the state recorded 21,215 cases of violence, including 2,066 cases of dowry death, 1,532 cases of rape, and 3,819 cases of kidnapping.

I have only one question to the authorities concerned – so how many more women and girls should be raped and harassed and killed before we can conclusively state that crime against women is a disease in endemic proportions in so many states of India, especially UP, and needs a coordinated administrative and judicial effort to control it?

Seriously, WTF!

Introducing WTF Series and Episode 01

Prelude

Now, here’s something new I am thinking of starting – The WTF series! You know there are those times when you come across something really really atrocious and the first and the most emphatic exclamation that you can manage is WTF!...

...There’s nothing really to elaborate or blog about in detail but you cannot simply just ignore and maybe a tweet wouldn’t do full justice to it!

Well WTF series is going to be an episodic succession of such WTF moments (maybe personal ones too), news items, snippets, quotes, conversations, experiences and more! I aim to keep these posts fairly brief – all compiled under the tag WTF.

So how do you like the idea? I would love it if you readers and visitors also contributed to WTF episodes!

So here I go…

WTF: Episode 01

News Item: Maharashtra raises drinking age to 25!

So you can decide who rules the country by exercising voting rights, you can decide who rules your life by marrying them (legally!) and also have children. You can drive, choose a career, get promotions, earn salaries with 5 and 6 digits, have bank accounts, trade in stocks and shares, change your religion or citizenship, if you wish, and even smoke, BUT you cannot drink alcohol.

Seriously, WTF!

Washed away!

An exquisite pearl nestled on
the delicate bend of
a verdant olive blade;

That gentle venerate breeze
was just beginning to attempt
to court the demure divine bead;

When that sullen dark sky
bellowed in distraught,
and let out its fury.

The deluge that followed
washed away the traces
of what might have been
a wonderfully romantic morning.

(P.S. Please indulge me, I am trying to find my way back.)

The Wild Wild West

Yeah, it's been long - but guess what - I have been busy, but this time, busy holidaying :). Holidaying in the far far west - the desert state of Arizona.
And here I come only to share with you the striking aspects of my vacation so far!

The summer months - May onwards - are dry and hot and when I say hot, I don't mean the pleasant English summer but the dry, dehydrating heat - If you are from Delhi or around and have experienced the months from April to August, you know exactly what I am talking about. Add to that the direct sun that is in your face for almost 15 hours a day - 7 days a week!
The skies are usually bright and clear with the occasional clouds over the distant southwestern mountain ranged that make for a breathtaking sight especially at sunsets.


What is also awe-inspiring are the huge cacti - tall and stately - they almost form the state emblem of AZ!


I have been in and around the cities of Phoenix, Tucson, Tempe and Chandler, and the best touristy thing that we did was a visit to Rawhide - an old time western town complete with cowboys, bounty hunters, and guns!


A promising fun package, Rawhide is the closest you can get to the authentic rustic and adventurous life in the 1880's. And here's their theme song for you to get the precise feel I wish to convey :)...



For more details on the attractions, see rawhide.com. And if you are anywhere around, you sure don't want to give this one a miss!

"...
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them doggies movin' Rawhide!
..."

Encroachment!

I have nothing new to say. The number of sparrows is decreasing, the tigers are facing the threat of extinction, pigeons being electrocuted, and no, I will not talk about global warming.

High rises, and ever increasing urban population has pushed “natural” life to the periphery of our existence. We have so many more worries – EMIs, fuel prices, heat (forget the cause), network connectivity. And in all this whirligig that means the world to us, when we come across living beings that are not humans we either are too busy to notice them, or we spare a moment of guilt and passion, a camera click maybe, and then move on with our mundane reality.

These squirrels around my parents’ apartment in Noida had babies, and all of us spared some time to feed them food and water and observe them stealthily from behind closed windows and curtains. I am sure these cuties couldn’t care a damn about how happy we felt having them around. They must be cribbing about the lack of privacy, if nothing else.

This pigeon has a sad story. It had built a nice nest over our split ac’s rear in the balcony, and when we had to remove the covering of the AC to get ready for the rising mercury in Delhi, the nest fell over, breaking one egg. Yes, we were devastated. And that is that. The pigeon fluttered around for a couple of hours giving us the cold, accusing stare – we had a few grains and water to offer in apology – It finally recreated its abode on top of our neighbor’s bedroom window. I swear the pigeon family will be safer there than on top of the ac.

I am less sympathetic to the noisy crows, not that their right to co-exist is any less. Am sure our dislike is mutual.

So, what are your encroachment stories?

‘Kanyadaan’

Before you ask, yes that is a picture from my wedding album. This particular ritual in the hindu marriage ceremony is known as “kanyadaan”, quite inadequately translated in English as “giving or rather gifting away of the daughter”.

The hindu vedic marriage rituals pays a lot of emphasis on this particular ceremony. It is supposed to be the highest sacrifice (maha daan); and therefore, it is believed that parents who have performed the “kanyadaan” for their daughter are relieved of all sins and attain heaven.

(Parents who have sons live longer, my brother jokes!)

What exactly the ceremony entails is that the father holds the hand of the bride, while the mother pours the holy water; the father then places his daughter’s hand in the hand of the groom, as the sacred verses are enchanted in the background.

(And so ladies and gentlemen, the official handover of the seat of power and the reigns of control from the dad to the husband happens!)

From my personal experience, I can tell you that even in fairly modern families where daughters are raised and respected as equals to sons, and the “kanyadaan” is more ceremonial for tradition-sake than actually meaning that the father will no longer have any right on the daughter (and the umbilical cord is forever cut), this is a very very emotional and somber affair during the wedding.

Even though at the back of my mind I knew I was doing this for ritual-sake only, the chants of the priests and the whole ambience – the water, the physical “giving away” - and then when I had to go and sit next to my husband instead of with “my” side of the family - and finally seeing my dad stifle his tears, I thought I’d burst with all the emotions brewing inside or just scream my head off and put a stop there and then!

(Fortunately, or unfortunately, the conformist that I am, none of that happened!)

God, why do weddings have to be so emotionally taxing and exhausting!

And that is precisely the point of this post. Why can’t culture and tradition adapt to the current times. Why go through the elaborate rituals when most of them make little practical sense in the world today, wherein girls are brought up to be as independent as their male counterparts and there is no real need for her to be “taken care of, provided and sheltered” by one man or the other!

C’mon, not that I obeyed my dad to the T before marriage that I need to now “obey” my husband instead. And just because I am married, doesn’t mean dad and mom will mean any less than what they have always meant!

If I am blessed with a daughter, I am not sure I will do this kind of an elaborate and dramatic "kanyadaan” at her wedding, not even for custom-sake. Would you?

I “Obey”?

So there has been a lot to write home about the Royal Wedding, complete with the Disney fantasy like feel to the whole event. “Dreams do come true”. Oh well!

Of all the trillion articles and news items on the affair of the decade – ranging from the royal kiss to the ring that wouldn’t slide smooth, from the lovely bridal attire to the over-the-top head gears of the guests, and what not, I thought I should talk about this one: Kate 'will not obey'.

Following Diana’s royal ditch to the royal protocol, Kate decides to steer clear of vowing to “obey” Prince William (I hear he is a Duke now). Instead she pledges to “love, comfort, honor and keep” her husband. A very honest lady! Why promise what you are sure you will not do, even if it is only ceremonial!

While the old school of thought continues to defend the use of the word, “obey”, emphasizing that it is not meant as “subservient” or an excuse for domestic abuse, I’d say one should rather be safe than sorry!

This news piece reminded me of my wedding. Married following the hindu vedic rituals, during the many “mantras and slokas” (vedic chants in Sanskrit) the pandits (priests) were reciting and translating for the benefit of all, one distinct vow or rather instruction to me was that I should never do what my husband prohibits. To do anything I should seek my husband’s permission, even if I want to visit my parents etc.

While the close knit family and friends laughed through it, I looked up to Vish to assure both of us understood that this was only “ceremonial”, and well, not to be taken as the word of law. The indulgent smile from him saved the priests from an argument session, which I am sure nobody had the patience to deal with at 2 in the morning!

Though I absolutely believe in the institution of marriage, I often wonder what an MCP the person who wrote some of these rituals/vows must have been. The inherent assumption that men know better and will do better - And hence, the lesser mortals (read women) should bow their heads in subservience so that these demi-gods can lead us and make sense of our lives.

In this day and age, there continue to be women who live as puppets with their strings firmly held by the husbands. Inequality, domestic violence, verbal abuse – all continue to plague many marriages in many households in India.

We need people to come out in the open and acknowledge the wrong/injustice when they see it. So what if it is dictated by religion or religious texts. Religion is a path to God created by humans themselves – If we can’t change it for the better, who else can?

I think I am back!

yuvikachaube.blogspot.com no longer shows up in the list of most visited sites on my Google Chrome home page. Well to be honest nothing else shows up as well, except google.com, maybe.

Boy, it has been long!

But, guess what – I think I am back!

“I glanced at her and took my glasses

off--they were still singing. They buzzed

like a locust on the coffee table and then

ceased. Her voice belled forth, and the

sunlight bent. I felt the ceiling arch, and

knew that nails up there took a new grip

on whatever they touched. "I am your own

way of looking at things," she said. "When

you allow me to live with you, every

glance at the world around you will be

a sort of salvation." And I took her hand.”

- When I Met My Muse by William Stafford

There has been work, and then there has been more work. There have been moments of absolute disorientation, and then there have been moments of realization and acceptance. There have been days that flowed into each other seamlessly, and then there have been days that just refused to move on…In the organized chaos that life often offers I wonder if one would be better prepared for artless anarchy.

Yes, I have lots to talk about – and in the coming days will spam all the channels you have been kind enough to follow My Musings on! Also, a heartfelt thanks to all the loyal readers who kept checking on me and spared time to drop in a comment or two. If it’s fabulous to be read, it’s a greater high to be missed :)!

After all,

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

~Ray Bradbury

The cup that brewed a storm…

So finally something to break the silence!

Yes, yes we did it!

The Cricket World Cup excitement caught the entire nation in a whirlpool of enthusiasm and this feverish excitement was contagious enough to affect me too. My stance on cricket has varied between unaffected ignorance and annoyed irritation. The fanaticism with which the game is followed has been unnerving but the Saturday that was April 02nd was a day I would excuse the loud crackers and the joyous cheers – I couldn’t help but smile at the ardent fan following the game and the masters of it enjoy! (I actually live tweeted the last few overs – change of heart…err no not really!)

But then, let’s stop at that. What’s with the waiting helicopters, the real and replica cups, and ofcourse Madame Poonam wanting to strip.

Each one is welcome to do what they want, but at what cost and whose cost?

The millions worth of gifts presented – the lavish treatment – where does the buck stop, where do you draw the line? You want to dismiss it as mere cynicism, so be it. The fact is we are a developing nation and yes, by all means we should felicitate the victorious and those who make us proud but how much is the question. If this is about encouraging sports, then why only Cricket?

(And now I duck as the cricket fans throw brickbats my way.)

[Image Source: Google Images]

In the interim…

Diagnosis: Rare syndrome. It primarily affects the cranium, the cardiac muscle, and the overall skeletal system. The key symptoms of the disease include buoyancy of the skull, solidity of the spirit, listlessness of the spine – often manifested in the form of general inability to focus on tasks at hand, no clear vision of the future, writer’s block, perceived loss of dexterity of the limbs at all times of the day and night, forced hallucinations, weak will to fight it all and a strong inclination to do nothing at all.

There seems to be no clinically proven cure for this extreme medical condition.

In progress:

• Formulating a routine to factor in time for physical exercise
• Taking a break – Bangalore and back – Visiting Delhi and the US in the coming months
• Chilling out with friends in the middle of stressed out work weeks – Have been doing the casual shopping trips and the eat outs – also have hit the pub more times in the last month than I have done in years together

Suggestions and recommendations welcome. Won’t exactly murder you for playing doc!

P.S. Not announcing a hiatus. One of those phases when meaninglessness rules and most things (and most people) seem to exasperate the life out of you.

Will be back sooner than you know.