Baby Photo Contests

Read my take on the umpteen baby photo contest here on my mommy blog. Would love to hear what you have got to say.

We stand alone.

A friend sent this very disturbing video, along with a message to blog about this so that we can initiate a healthy discussion on what can be done to avoid such circumstances.

To briefly summarize: A young man (allegedly) committed suicide by jumping off the topmost floor of the Express Avenue mall in Chennai, India. The tragedy was just not that. It was the delay in having emergency medical aid being brought to him, so that maybe he could be saved.

I do not wish to discuss any of these: suicide vs. murder vs. accident, intent etc etc. What I do wish to discuss is the state of emergency medical help available in our country. I had a number of questions when I saw the video:

• Out of the hundreds of witnesses, did even one try calling 102?
• What is the response time for 102?
• What would I have done if I was there?
• Wasn't there a doctor or nurse who could have helped?
• Why did the police come without paramedics?
• A 10 (or more) minute delay for first-aid? Should malls have medical rooms?
• At that time, nobody knew it was a suicide, why was the public prevented from stepping in?

Here are the answers:

We are a nation that hides behind the anonymity that large masses bring. Basically, we are cowards. I am. You know what I would have done had I been there? I would have kept a "safe" distance. I swear I would have called 100 and 102 (though, from personal experience I know calling 100 is a big joke, but still.) I would have spoken to the mall authorities to extend medical help. That's all. I would not have stepped upto personally take  the guy to the hospital or give him first aid (even if I knew how to). In addition I would have stopped any near or dear one form doing so. Let's stay within a reasonable response range, I would have said. 

To whoever blames the public (and me) for apathy, I'd offer an insincere apology. The system has failed once too often for me to have any faith. Don't give me the BS on how we make the system. No, I don't. So, for once I'd rather not blame the curious and innocent bystanders.

I don't know if malls should have medical rooms. Yes, why not? But would they have helped?

The management was scared too? Or they simply didn't want any unnecessary "mess"? Who has a conscience in this country anymore, anyways?

Somebody did call the cops though. Why did they take more than 10 minutes to show up? Was their response timely enough? Did they bring the paramedics?  What was the first aid offered to the victim? Was the mall security/authorities booked for inaction? My guess is that NO would be the answer to these questions. 

The aam aadmi (common man) wants to return home safe after his day long quest of roti (food), kapda (clothing) and makaan (shelter).

The people with the muscle and the moolah need their hands free from any unwarranted mess because they have a lot of s*&%t to deal with anyways.

The law enforcers have to choose between protecting the common man or the people with the money and power. They don't have much of an option, do they?

The government needs the law enforcers and the powerful moneyed people to make money for those in positions. They are not sure whether they'll be reinstated in the next elections - so this maybe their only opportunity to fill their personal coffers up.

So, what does one do? Just what the video says at the end. Be alert. Be safe. You are on your own. Oh yes, you can once in a while try checking up if the guy up there still exists.

(If you have a better suggestion, bring it on - but before you talk about Satyagraha and fasts unto death, boycotts and andolans/revolutions, just keep in mind we are talking about ordinary people like you and me who stand alone in a country of over a billion people.)

How mommyhood restored my faith in karma and the cycle of life...

A fun post on my mommy blog about parents, karma, and the cycle of life. Check it out if you have the time.

bewafai

साक़ी से गिला तो मैखाने से हमने मुंह मोड़ लिया;

हमसफ़र से शिक्वा और कारवाँ ही छोड़ दिया;

आफ़ताब ने ऐसा जलाया कि रोशिनी से मन ऊब गया;

साहिल पे जो मात खाई, लेहेरों पे फिर यकीं कहाँ हुआ।


हँसी ने जब गम को पनाह दी, ख़ुशी को अलविदा कह दिया;

ऐसा इश्क़ की हम हम ना रहे, जुनूँ  से भी रिश्ता तोड़ दिया;

अंधेरों में अब वोह बात कहाँ, रात से जब बैर हो गया;

खामोशी ने ऐसा साथ निभाया, बातों पर यकीं ना रहा।


और भी गिले हैं, शिक्वे कई - शायद सबको भुला दिया,

चोट भी हैं और दर्द भी वहीँ - अब तो सब सह लिया;

तुमसे क्या बैर, ख़ुदा ने भी कुछ ख़ास साथ ना दिया,

पर ना  जाने  क्यूँ, उसके जहाँ को सीने से लगा लिया।

-----------------------------------------------------------

(Last time I took a shot at hindi poetry, some readers came back asking for an English translation. Everyone knows translation can never convey the absolute original intended meaning, but nevertheless, here's an attempt for the piece above:

Betrayal

I didn't get along with the tavern keeper, so stopped going to the very tavern.
Discontentment with my soul mate, and I abandoned the journey.
The sun left such deep burns that I fell out with light itself.
How I was cheated at the shore, I could never trust the waves again.

When my smile gave sanctuary to my sorrow, I bid farewell to happiness forever.
Such love that I lost myself; passion has now deserted me.
The darkness no longer inspires awe or fear since I befriended the very night.
Silence has been such an ardent companion, I no longer trust conversations.

I have many grievances, many disappointments too - but most have been forgotten.
There's hurt and there is pain - but I have borne it all.
What can I hold against you when God himself was never by my side;
Yet, I don't know why, I embraced his world close to my heart.

First cheesecake!

When my S-I-L shared this recipe of a no-bake Oreo cheesecake on her blog, I bookmarked it for a must-try. Vish's first Father's Day presented the perfect opportunity :D. 

The recipe is fairly simple and the end product is soo yumm. How can it not be with - complete with lots of whipped cream, cream cheese and Oreo cookies! (I am dead serious about trying out more varieties of cheesecakes!)

Slurrp...time to dig into the leftover in the refrigerator :P.

And this time around, I did not forget taking a pic. ;)

(P.S. Whenever I whip cream and then decorate the cake, it always falls - doesn't stay sharp - any tips and tricks?)

Hitler's Children

I saw this really good documentary on Netflix the other day - it's called Hitler's Children - a conversational-styled movie with dialogues with the surviving children/grandchildren of the topmost (and hence the most fearsome) officers of the Nazi regime and some of the first and second generation holocaust survivors.

It deals with issues of the burden of carrying a fear-inducing surname - the feeling of guilt, responsibility, embarrassment, shame. The most powerful moment of the film for me was when the grandson of the Auschwitz camp commander visits the camp on a day when a survivor from that very camp is also visiting. The grandson is asked to answer a few questions by the tourists, and as he struggles to hold back his tears and give dignified responses, this survivor walks upto him, hugs him tight and says, "You were not there, it was not your fault. That was another time." I still get goosebumps recalling that scene. The grandson completely broke down - was it a closure or not is debatable. Did the survivor feel that having met the next generation of his perpetrator and forgiving him, he can move on - forgive and forget? Did the son feel that having got that acknowledgement from a person who lived through the camp atrocities is a befitting closure to the years of guilt and shame? I do not know.

The documentary made me wonder on the larger question of what family legacies and surnames do to an individual's life. Obviously, they have greater bearing if there is real greatness or tragedy associated - but how do children deal with it. I am sure sons and daughters of politicians and actors in the current world have it easy - do they really have a "burden on their shoulders", I think not. Ditto with business men. (Pardon me for my dismissive tone.) But imagine being born to parents who have been responsible for killing millions or some other negative impact that history can never forgive and forget - what do you do? Would you "renounce" the "name" or would you "live" with it?

For the love of chocolate!

I had been postponing this post for a long time, because I wanted to have pictures to go with the recipes but every darn time I baked, the camera was no where in the picture :(. So before I forget, noting the recipes down here for my future reference and for you to try out too!

So, here are three chocolate-based cakes that I have tried more than just once in the last 6 months, with success every time. These are super yummy and like I always say, if I could get them right, anybody can!

1. Martha Stewart's Ultimate Chocolate Cake with Ultimate Chocolate Frosting: This has to be the easiest frosting ever! The cake comes out so well that it is an instant hit with everybody. Also, you can whip it up at very short notice. My favorite decorative addition has to be the MnMs I put on it.

2. Martha Stewart's Moist Devil's Food Cake with Mrs. Milman's Chocolate Frosting: The cake is fairly basic but the frosting requires a loads and loads of patience. The creams needs to be cooked on a low flame for almost 40-50 minutes and then refrigerated for a couple of hours to get the right consistency. I was actually surprised I got it right the first time. But, the frosting is well worth the effort. It's absolutely yummy!

3. Chocolate Cake with Nutella Buttercream Frosting: I wanted something quick and tasty for my hubby's birthday. And as luck would have it, I chanced upon this recipe. We both love Nutella and this seemed a fairly easy frosting to prepare. And it was. I gave a slight twist to the cake by adding strongly brewed coffee - it went very well with the Nutella taste. 

What are your favorite chocolate cake recipes?

Fear

I shooed the cat,
It stared right back into my eyes.

I shooed the pigeons,
They hovered even closer to my food.

I shooed the squirrel,
It defiantly settled on my patio wall.

I shooed the raccoon,
It refused to leave my dustbin.

I shooed the deer,
It calmly walked towards me.

I shooed the geese,
They cackled louder and closer.

I turned around and asked someone,
How come these animals know no fear?
He gently smiled and said at once,
Cos, nobody shoos them around here.

Public humiliation in modern times...

This is an excerpt from Wiki on public humiliation: 

"Public humiliation was often used by local communities to punish minor and petty criminals before the age of large, modern prisons (imprisonment was long unusual as a punishment, rather a method of coercion)."

I am sure we all have seen old movies, history-based shows that provide ample examples of public humiliation, the most popular being, public stoning and beheading. The intent behind these seems to be obvious: to make a befitting example for all other criminals. If I park my comments on the manner of punishment and the righteousness of the judgement aside, I feel that public humiliation is a suitable way of letting everyone know that you cannot get away with messing the law of the land. What do you think?

I say this also in the context of the recent outrageous crimes against women in Delhi and NCR, specifically. People have asked for public castration, beheading, setting up on fire and what not. You know what, I agree with them. The so called humanists talk about how these methods are bestial and blah and blah. Well, what the wackos have been doing is nothing short of what can be expected from beasts of the worst kind. So why be human with them? I think, given our present social construction, just a judgement will not suffice. More than the law we fear what "others" might think of us. So, to let everybody know, a public execution of the judgement seems like the need of the hour. Doesn't it? 

In another context, in this age of social media, public humiliation has become quite rampant and it takes minutes for the incident/comment/situation to go viral: via MMS, Twitter, FB, or even YouTube. 

While it has obvious ramifications on our personal lives and more so the personal lives of the people affected, does it also make us more accountable in the larger sense of the world, or no? I wonder. 

Have you noticed how most brands are quick to respond when you post a complaint on their FB wall or using their Twitter handle?

I believe now hiring firms, and even schools, do an "online" background check to see how you "behave" in the eworld. Does that scare you? 

Are you confident of your online identity? Do you use you real name mostly or hide behind pseudonyms and anonymity?

Do you take what's written about you in real and in reel seriously or with a pinch of salt?

Have you ever been publicly humiliated - for your fault or for somebody else's?

Have you seen public humiliation work?

[Image source: Google Images]

The Spring Jinx!

What else can explain my arid blog during this season, for the second consecutive year? It has been barren, but I am hoping for fresh blossoms...Please linger on...