Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Stages of My Weight Loss Program

So, let's start with being honest. I have never ever been size zero - not for as long as I can remember (and I have a great memory). However, neither have I battled any weighty issues - mostly plump but not really overweight! Since I was about 16 or 17, whenever the weighing machine would tip on the wrong side of the 50 kg mark, I'd start a short-lived exercise (and a highly unsuccessful diet) regime, and things would be more or less okay. 

But, things are not so simple now. I blew 30 candles on my birthday cake last year, and delivered a baby the year before that. Frankly speaking, the 13 kgs I gained during pregnancy weren't all that much, and I lost 10 doing nothing at all. That made me very complacent and even 16 months after delivery, I have not been able to knock off the last couple of pounds! 

Month after month, I have drawn up long plans, which obviously have amounted to nothing. And the cyclical nature of my weight loss program is so hilarious even to me that I thought it might give you a reason for a good laugh too! So here are the different stages I go through, time and again:

Stage 1: I am so fat and ugly. 
I look at the old Ts in my closet that I have yet not packed away. Surely, I could get into them. But, wait I am so fat. I am sooo fat that I look ugly. How can I do this to myself? Oh my god, is that my photograph? I look round! This is depressing. I need to lose all that weight NOW.

Stage 2: Size Zero, Here I come!
People lose tens and tens of pounds, and I can't even lose a few? I am not ambitious enough. If I want to lose only a couple, I'll never lose them. So here's my new target - forget getting back to pre-pregnancy weight, I will now aim to be a size zero!

Stage 3: Exercise AND Diet Plan
I am a sensible educated person. No crash dieting, no heavy exercising. I draw a nice plan that is complete with a diet chart, which incorporates healthy meals every two hours - lot of fiber, fruits, veggies, low carbs, high protein and all the latest fads doing the rounds. Then a plan for exercise - squats, push ups, crunches, cardio - very holistic.

Stage 4: I love food. Exercise Only.
I have one life. How much do I anyways eat. A little bit of comfort eating here and there is not going to not make me size zero. I think I need to focus only on exercising. Let me increase that.

Stage 5: Where is the time to exercise? I need to diet.
Seriously, with a toddler to take care of, I think I can exercise? Don't I get enough exercise running after her and worrying about her. I don't even get enough sleep these days, how can I be healthy enough to exercise. Let me cut back on the calories in my food.

Stage 6: Food is my weakness. No strength/time for exercise.
No, just who can diet. I don't have fancy cooks nor can I afford those personal trainers. I mean who am I comparing myself with. My life is so busy - I don't have time to dish up healthy meals every 2 hours, and I am just too exhausted to exercise. I can't lead a deprived life - and there's only so much slogging out one can do, no?

Stage 7: Am I really that fat?
Sure, I am not as slim as before, but can I really call myself fat? I mean I might look fat in a particular kind of cut of dresses - and you know all those tops - those maybe just shrank in these god forsaken dryers. They are good for nothing, anyways. Isn't my BMI in the normal range? And, that weighing machine is not even reliable, I think. Hell! Skinny is not even healthy and not like I have signed a bikini modelling contract! 

Stage 8: I need a wardrobe overhaul!
I am just working myself into a depression. Oh c'mon, I can't go on trying to fit into old clothes all my life. The fashion trends are changing. I need to shop for more flattering silhouettes, that's all. Who knows, I might fit into a S size in some brand somewhere. And, anyways, what is that feel-good quote doing the social media round these days, "I might not have a perfect body, but I am a mother, and that is perfect." (bleh.) :P.

6 comments:

  1. hahahhaah.....this made my day ..whenever i am depressed about my weight ..i just read one of the aunty acid quotes ....they are an immediate pick-me-up

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes I love those one liners too!

      Delete

  2. Cool post !!!
    You have provided the most simplest informative and helpful ways on weight loss programs.
    A good way to maintain weight reduction is to stop eating a few hours before bed. Eating more vegetables and fruits can be a nutritious, healthy means to drop weight. I like the way you written the post on Weight loss. You have raised such great points to think about. You have provided the most informative and helpful ways about Weight loss. Thanks For sharing such a nice post...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Losing weight is a tough journey. And it’s not something that everyone is fond of doing. But in my opinion, a combination of great determination and a concrete plan of action are the keys to make it all work. And looking at your list, I can say that you have the qualities to do just that. Just a little more boost from a friend, family, or a professional trainer, and you'll be on your way to achieving your goal for sure.

    Ruby Cobb @ Fitness Together Chagrin Falls

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  4. Hi, you explained the topic very well. The contents has provided meaningful information thanks for sharing info.

    Share some of your Gastric sleeve success stories

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really had fun reading your post. That’s a funny experience, and I believe everyone can relate to that! Don’t be depressed, it’s normal to gain weight after giving birth. But, if you really want a sexier body, you should be persistent and determined. Stick to a good exercise routine, and continue eating only healthy food. You can also bring your daughter to join you. Exercise time can also be a bonding time! Cheers!

    Dwight Osborne @ NYHealth And Wellness

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate you taking out the time to share your valuable opinions! They mean a lot!

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