Sunday, October 10, 2010

Not now!

(A Facebook addict like me should have posted this much earlier, but oh well!)

Ok guys, FB adds a new step to the friend request denial procedure – Not Now.

A simple Yes and No, or in FB terms, Confirm and Ignore has now become:

Step 1: Confirm and Not Now

Step 2: Confirm and Delete Request

My initial reaction to this feature was WTF! Either I want the requestor to be on my friend’s list or I don’t; what’s with the unnecessary grey area in the middle?

But then, social networking could easily be as complicated as rocket science itself!
If you thought managing relationships was a difficult task; it becomes even more formidable on cyber space.

Here are the broad categories most friend requests I receive fall in:

I The genuine friends...
...Those who make FB well worth the time I spend on it: lost and found childhood companions, friends from school and college, neighborhood peers, colleagues from work!

II Relatives...
...Those I am very close to and those that I have seldom met. I don’t really mind family on FB and so long have been able to manage pretty well :D!

III The one-time met/seen/heard of acquaintances...
These are people I could easily qualify as weirdoes, if not stalkers. Your friend’s cousin’s friend you got introduced to at a mall; a colleague at work you attended a meeting with or saw at the coffee vending machine, and have never spoken to before or after that – forget spoken to – have never acknowledged his/her presence before or after that; the guy who helped you with your hand baggage in the plane (yes, I got one such friend request – we never even exchanged our names, so I am guessing he peeped into my boarding pass – how nightmarish!)

IV The complete strangers...
...The “do you want to do friendship with me”-“your profile pic looks great, so let’s be friends” category.

Till September, I was confidently using the Ignore option for the last category.
It was the third category of requests that left me in a fix to decide among the following options:
  • Should I be politically correct and go ahead and add the person and later tweak my privacy settings?
  • Do I care about social proprietary? FB is my personal space and I decide whom to share it with.
  • Defer the decision.
Though the last option was quite convenient, FB would regularly pop the reminder, making me feel a tad bit guilty (gosh, I take FB way too seriously, don’t I?).

So now, the Not Now option comes to my rescue. It aids me in my indecisiveness – I can conveniently brush your request under the carpet – hide it, as per FB terminology, and never have to deal with my conscience because there are no reminders – yayay – how convenient!

Did I hear you smirk? Yes, I belong to the easy-way-out generation – why not? I have no qualms about it!

Therefore, my initial WTF reaction to Not Now has been now transformed to “not bad”.
Though I have always detested people who fall in the maybe-maybe not category when it comes to answering questions – be it in surveys or interviews or etc, I really don’t seem to mind it on social networking sites.

What FB could have done to make things easier is that they could have added a third button in Step 1 itself – Delete request.
So, at one go I can decide whether to hide the request for Category 3 or simple delete and report spam/block for Category 4. A simple usability enhancement!

What say? Not now?


  1. I am contemplating leaving FB but "not now."

    Joy always,

  2. he he..I hope the person who you traveled with or who you met at the Coffey vending machine doesn't get to read this post :D

  3. @Susan: :)

    @Anamika: Good point, I also hope for the same :D

  4. Yes ,it gets very irritating and I am serious about deleting my profile from FB

  5. I am still hooked onto FB. Let's see how long it lasts

  6. I am sending you a friend request in FB.. hehehe


  7. The only reason why people get addicted to FB. It understand your needs and upgrades!

  8. continuous improvisation huh? :)

  9. continuous improvisation huh? :)

  10. my 2cents:
    but it comes with some privacy issues. 'Not now' folks can see your updates..

    I try to keep it simple logic i.e- facebook is for people who i consider interesting and want to keep in touch. so some colleagues/family is out..and random 'unknown'/1timer friends are in.. and Idea is not to have max. friend count but to folks who actually use it to keep it social/interact. i find it interest to share interesting(/junk) stuffs and i do hv enough knowledge to change my privacy setting as and when needed.

    fyi.. this is too big but might interests you..

  11. @iamyuva: thanks for writing in and sharing the link. yup, it is interesting!


I appreciate you taking out the time to share your valuable opinions! They mean a lot!


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