Just finished watching the sequel to Twilight - New Moon – I know, I know I am like a coupla months late, but sure you guys know, it’s better late than never.
The celluloid rendition of Stephenie Meyer’s lovable Cullens, and may I especially mention the sinisterly handsome Edward Cullen, makes me forget the light years I am away from teenage!
While most cute lovey-dovey romances still do find a way to flutter my heart (*blush* *blush*), the Bella-Edward melodramatic extravaganza brings to life the dreamy childhood visions of fairy tales, princes on horses, et al…
Okay, now is the point I get incredibly sissy, so cutting myself short and getting to the point of the post, which is definitely not a review of any of the movies. (There’s nothing to critique, it’s a luscious momentary fantasy trip, best enjoyed without the application of the annoying grey matter in your head.)
What struck me – partly because of my innate skill at being the devil’s advocate and partly cos of my much cultivated and practiced talent of irritating Vish – was that vampires might just qualify as better marriage material than, you know, human beings.
So, ladies (and gentlemen), presenting 5 solid reasons why a vampire would make an awesome boy friend, partner, husband…
- First and foremost, you don’t have to cook for him. Imagine, never would you be subjected to comments like “My mom makes better sambhar”, “The food’s yumm, but you could go easy on the salt”, or questions like “What’s for dinner tonight?”, “Why are we always eating out, it’s been ages since I got home-cooked food?”.
- The second important reason is that he will be hyper sensitive – to your feelings, needs. So he will know exactly when the washing machine needs repair, the TV’s not working, the phone needs to be recharged and the credit card bill to be paid – All you have to do is close your eyes and wish, and boom he will be there to fix all that you want :). (The flip side is that if you are not Bella and he can read your mind, you might not be able to lie about the parlor expenses and the shopping bills, but let’s not ruin our fun with the cons.)
- Point 3; he can fly, and at what speed, wow! Imagine the continents you can visit without having to deal with air sickness, bumpy loos, and freakin visa issues – all on his back – oh, so romantic ;)!
- Point 4; he is eternal, indefatigable and incredibly powerful – he’ll fight the werewolves, the rowdies at the street corner, villain vampires, and the entire might of Voltaire for you because you would be the best thing that happened to him in about 100 years (*flutter* *flutter*). What an ego bolster is that kind of a yardstick :p?!?!
- Last but not the least, you can be a vampire too (he can convert you) – ageless, ever young, the master (mistress, rather) of your destiny, and then you can proudly answer when somebody asks your age, “I am 21. I have been 21 for a while now”. Yippie ;)!!!
Alas, if you thought good men were rare to find, such vampires are sure non-existent in this big bad world; so all that am doing is (sigh) waiting for 30 June 2010. That’s when the third movie in the Twilight Saga, Eclipse, releases.
P.S. Vish, I love you, and I know you are going to take me for the movie, and prove for a fact that there remain a few good men who can match upto the impeccable Cullens :D!