What is God?

We have started having conversations about God with our three year old, and if God's here, religion's not far behind, right? Read our approach here and let me know what you think about it.

What is God?

The Lament of the First Silver

As I brushed my (not-so) long (not-so) silky mane in front of the mirror today,

My eyes noticed a shimmer in one of those (not-so) desirable tresses -

What was it - a play of the newly fitted incandescent light bulb?

As I looked closer, my heart grew heavier...

However fanciful a sliver might sound - there was my first white - white as snow!

Oh good lord, my first white at the (not-so) tender age of four years before thirty-five

Does this happen, is it true, was this a sign of a cancer or a tumor or worse,was it simply old age?

Old age at one year after thirty - has this what it has come to? Should I sign my will already?

Are days of spring long gone, am I in the autumn of my life already?

Oh but hang on, what was that news about pollution and stress - all those chemicals in the food and air?

I look around and forget the pollution, there's my toddler and my (supposed) better half 

There's also some unrecognizable mess on the rug, and piles of laundry from the weekend.

I can't blame the gray today on global warming alone, I sigh!

My first reaction was of rage - I plucked that unwanted weed from my (not-so) happy garden

The sense of foreboding doom loomed large over my (otherwise fairly well) being

And I turned for solace to my best friend these days - the WWW.

Don't pluck, it said - color it the colors of joy - like really burgundy colored white hair seem like the thing?

Disheartened I called my loving mother who was mighty amused and said - one's a mother's blessing!

Humbug, clearly she waited a little over three decades to bless her daughter...

I mentioned it in passing to the man of the house who tutted over his tablet without so much as a glance up.

With accusatory eyes I showed the lock to my daughter who heartlessly laughed away my lamentation.

Clearly, I am growing old, in oblivion.

(Epilogue:

A couple of calming scoops of strawberry icecream later, I am trying to live again

It is difficult I won't deny, but then I take my self for a survivor.

Life is so cruel that it beats me, I think I need to open some wine tonight -

That with more icecream and chocolate should show that mocking silver that I haven't given up, as yet!)

A decadent and sinful celebration!

Vish and I clocked 8 years together as a married couple, and with a toddler on a week day, this was pretty much the highlight of our day (after a satiating meal of home made pasta and bruschetta - yes, you see I am finding my way back to the kitchen :p)!

This is an Irish car bomb cake - A chocolate Guinness cake with a subtle flavor of Irish whiskey. The frosting is whipped cream cheese with a hint of whiskey for the layers and Baileys for the top. Here's the recipe I followed. And if you are not drooling already, here's the picture of the show stopper of the evening.

A generation lost.

Today my nani (mom's mom) passed away...

...what she has left behind is memories - of huge jars of amle ka murabba, meethe aate ke cheele, suji ke pue, aloo ki roti (so that I would eat aloo paratha during those fussy teen years when crash diets were the norm), daal and rice from the solar cooker, hand knitted baby sweaters and nappies, her gentle voice (In all these years, I had never heard a shout or an angry tone), her subtle sense of humor, her liberal thinking, her spectacles, her freckled hands that were always soft, the pallu on her head, the red bindi, the grey curls, the bend of her spine as she said her prayers, and also the hesitant footsteps, the forgotten words, the empty silent eyes, and the fading touch with reality in the last few years. 

With her going, I have no grandparents left. She has taken with her a whole generation of "parents". 

Life is cruel; it is brutal.

Yesterday

Through a dusty window with a broken pane,

I peeked at the lane that seemed left behind -

Not really though, it did continue to eternity,

But nevertheless there were paths that lay uncrossed.

I contemplated reliving that abandoned haven;

What is it about the days gone by,

That they always seem so perfect in introspection?

Why is today the happiest from tomorrow's point of view?

The mind's the devil you must give your due to -

It concocts this web of rose tinted nostalgia.

I often fall prey to it, but that day, I didn't;

I opened the pane wide enough and looked at Yesterday.

There it was curled up in its smug satisfaction of having passed.

I stirred it a little, rattled it some more, and gave it a gentle shake -

And - memories fell out like the crisp leaves of a vibrant fall

Not all were warm rays of the sun, cold wintry days were wrapped in too.

"Why do you hide the chill", I asked Yesterday.

"You choose to remember the warmth", it shot back.

"How so very naive of me", I wondered out aloud.

"How else would you carry my burden", offered Yesterday.

This.

(P.S. This was meant to be published around Nov-end/December during my stay in Delhi but got stuck in my Drafts folder. Here it is, now.)

This grey haze enveloping confused skies;

This nip in the air that makes you wrap your arms around yourself;

This shortening of the day and the lengthening of twilight;

This celebration of the short spurt of warm sun rays that were up until now very unwelcome;

This series of haloed lamps on the roadside vendors' carts;

This crackling of roasting peanuts and popping corn;

This feeling of loved fuzziness and dazed dreamy state that only the cold can bring;

This is the Delhi Winter!

And, boy, have I missed this!

Indulgence for the wintry days...

P.S. I have not been washed away in rainy Portland - I have been growing fatter during my Great Indian Vacation, of which I hope to share more in the days to come but meanwhile coming to my perennial sin - gluttony. So I do promise to be more disciplined and less indulgent from February 01, 2015 but for the time being, you have to have to try this out - Chocolate Cup Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting - as sinful as this sounds, the one saving grace is that it is whole wheat!

Check out the recipe here.