Some relics from the past...

And while I have been uploading pics of mom's paintings, she has very proudly dug out my ancient sketch book. If she is to be believed, it is precisely 12 years old.

She insists I post these relics too...ouch! What hurts is that the sketches that I do now show no improvement - infact some are much worse :(.

My super artist mom!

Lot of people have got back to me saying they haven't really seen my mom's work - who is a real wonderful artist especially in oil. So, since I am home this week, I thought I'll take a few pics of her paintings around the house to validate my bragging about her in my earlier post.
Here they are:

Jai Ho Slumdog but Cattle Class hai hai!

For the past two days I have been dying to shout out my opinion on the controversial tweet of Shashi Tharoor but just haven't been able to get down to writing it. So, a little late, but nevertheless.

First, dear ST, the apology to the people whose sentiments you may have hurt was so not required!

When can we start a mature era of politics where it is okay to sit back and enjoy some play of wits? Our politicians need to grow up and more importantly, develop a sense of humor – or maybe simply get a life!

I personally enjoyed ST's tweet, as a comment on the recent Congress paranoia over PDAs (no I do not mean public displays of affection but public displays of austerity), that he would travel "cattle class out of solidarity with all our holy cows!"

Obviously, the little-educated politicians saw this as insulting and blah and blah. We had Congress party guys immediately in action disassociating themselves and the party name with ST's comment regarded as upsetting the emotions of the Indians. Ouch, indeed.

Frankly speaking, the crammed economy class seats in all the airlines (non-Indian included), the non-AC coaches in the trains and the public transport in any city in India is fit for cattle, and we human beings try to accommodate as much as we can. If Madame Jayanti Natarajan is so offended by ST's remarks she should proactively begin to see what can be done to improve the lot of the proverbial "common man". I mean just because you don't call me blind doesn’t change the fact that I do not have eyes!

And the hullabaloo of the term "holy cows" was hilarious indeed - I think ST is not aware of the literacy levels of our darling politicians.

However, one thing that ST's remark achieved was something that has been very difficult in the recent past - he actually got BJP and Congress on the same side - nothing unites us like illiteracy and sheer joblessness! Forget all the pressing issues of national concern – how dare this “phoren-returned” gentleman show us the mirror!

And all this fuss being made by the party that used Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire as their election anthem...the logic escapes me!

One of the last generations to enjoy DD…

As Door Darshan (DD) completes 50 years, I realize that I belong to one of the last generations to enjoy this public division broadcaster of India. I am talking about the late 80’s and early 90’s.

Once the ‘cable’ invaded our televisions, DD was quickly relegated to the domain of the 9 o’clock news and the weekend movies. By the late 90’s, DD was history for most of us whose first rendezvous with the TV was through the musical “bane sur mera tumhaara to sur bane humaara”. And for kids born after the 80’s, DD was archaic, as out-dated as dinosaurs maybe!

Only yesterday was I recounting to a colleague the fascination that we had for the television screen as kids. There were fixed slots for children’s programs and we considered it a treat to be able to watch the specials for extended hours during summer vacations.

Gone are those days; now from the day the kids are born, they have a plethora of choices. If nothing on the idiot box suits their temperament, mommy and daddy instantly fetch out the huge collection of DVDs. What charm will “ek chidiya, anek chidiya” hold for such youngsters?

Here’s a list of some of my favorite DD serials that defined my viewing experience as a kid and therefore occupy a huge soft corner in my heart:

• Ramayana – No other adaptation of Ramayana comes close to this Ramanand Sagar classic
• Mahabharata – Another DD flagship that brought alive the epic in every household on Sundays at 9 AM
• Vikram aur Betaal – I am told I was initially dead scared of Betaal but couldn’t resist watching the spell-binding episodes
• Jungle Book – Aww who can forget Mowgli – 'jungle jungle baat chali hai pata chala hai, chaddi pehen ke phool khila phool khila hai'
• Flop Show – The “baap” of all comedy serials – a la Jaspal Bhatti
• Chanakya – Yes, my first source of gyan on the Mauryan empire and “chankaya niti”
• Malgudi Days – The stories of the fictional town of Malgudi created by R.K. Narayanan
• The Sword of Tipu Sultan – A magnificent portrayal of the life of Tipu Sultan
• Dekh Bhai Dekh – 'Iss rang badalti duniya mein kya tera hai kya mera hai'
• Chitrahar – Friday 7:00 PM it was!
• Fun Time (during the summer vacations) - Included Talespin, Duck Tales, Laurel and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin
• I also vaguely remember watching one or two episodes of Fauji (the one with SRK), Nukkad (rustic and rogue) and Circus (the not-so-funny life behind the stage)!

Here’s a loving remembrance to the good times we shared :).

बस यूँ ही

वोह हो कर भी नहीं थे
और नहीं होकर भी नहीं हैं
आवाज़ क्यूँ हर दम मेरी तरफ से ही आये
हम इस इंतज़ार में हैं की कभी
वोह भी हमें पुकार ले

यूँ तो ज़िन्दगी में
कोई गम कोई तकल्लुफ नहीं
लेकिन ऐसे भी तो
कोई कल की आरजू या उमंग नहीं

अल्फाजों में एक सन्नाटा सा है
खामोशी भी बातें नहीं करती
इस रिश्ते की एहमियत यही है
की हमको अभी इसकी समझ ही नहीं

जो इस वक़्त लम्हा गुज़र रहा है
वोह एक रेट के टीले को
अपने संग लिए जा रहा है

Late 20’s panic attack!

Now that the safe net the tag, “I am still in my early 20’s”, assures has been ruthlessly withdrawn by the earthly time clock as I turned 26 yesterday, I am not sure how happy I have been about this birthday go by ;).

Seriously speaking, I never thought I would cross 25. Yeah, I understand nobody is born with the innate desire to grow old, but those who have celebrated their silver jubilee know exactly what I am talking about.

Why this obsession with 26, you ask?

Here are 26 reasons why turning 26 does suck and quarter-life crisis IS a panic situation:

1. For the first time in your life you begin comparing pictures of you now and when you were 16 and you CAN spot visible differences.
2. You have graduated from a 24” waist to a 26” inch waist with little hiccups, but now will forego shopping rather than having to face the humiliation of trying the 28” pair at Levi’s.
3. You have started buying hair fall control products and extra strong conditioners, and would rather neatly tie your hair in a knot than leave them out open to be damaged by the sun and the rain.
4. Retirement planning schemes and Public Provident Fund (PPF) savings are not boring topics that only dads discuss; you have started investing in these and take advantage of other tax saving incentives.
5. You have initiated serious discussions on role progression and career objectives at work with your boss. A fatter pay check is not all that you want. You now begin to focus on long term goals.
6. Your conversations with school friends on latest crushes, movies, hangout zones and girly gossip have been hijacked by discussions on what hubby dearest cribs about, coping with in-laws, and the desperate need to have a reunion cos u haven’t been able to meet for months or even years now.
7. Bratty kids in the neighborhood call you “aunty” when they spot you wearing a salwar kameez or a sari – Oh, I hate them!
8. Your metabolism rate for burning down Mc Donald’s burgers and Dominoes pizzas has slowed down – the need to work out at the gym has become a looming reality.
9. You have still not learnt salsa and merengue and now it seems too late.
10. You have begun spending more time and money at the skin care section of the biggest department store in town.
11. Pesky relatives and nosey neighbors have started asking you if there is any “good news” yet; usually followed by a quick reproach that we youngsters should not delay taking on our responsibilities!
12. You have supposed to have gotten over the acne stage but the occasional pimple still finds its way on your face, right when u were thinking that atleast there’s one trouble off your head.
13. Your choice of music and movies, and your fashion sense seems a little removed from the reality of the 18 to 20 year olds.
14. The latest male entrants in bollywood are either younger to you or just around your age. Ranbir Kapoor and Neil Nitin Mukesh don’t sound as exciting as Hrithik Roshan and Abhishek Bachhan.
15. Even worse than point 14 above, the recent female sirens in bollywood are almost 6 to 10 years younger than you! (Crap, they look way older. Am sure they lie about their age!)
16. In surveys and polls, you now figure in the 25-30 age group category. That’s so middle-age.
17. You no longer party on week days cos it’s way too stressful and tiring in the middle of work.
18. You are no longer naïve enough to hope that you will strike a jackpot or hit it big and become a billionaire. If it hasn’t happened as yet, it’s very unlikely it will happen now.
19. You relate well to the word ‘nostalgia’. You feel nostalgic about childhood memories, school fun and college craziness.
20. You no longer find it cool to wear a dirty, torn or faded pair of jeans to a friend’s birthday bash.
21. You have started planning your wardrobe for work, Friday evening dinner, Saturday night out, Sunday lunch, atleast a day in advance.
22. You now feel the need to sound politically and diplomatically correct, be polite and exchange the so uncool niceties and pleasantries (Oh, that black dress looks so good on you, hey, have you lost weight, your skin’s glowing, your hair is lovely) at get-togethers and social gatherings.
23. You have all the cash now to buy all those games and toys that your parents thought were useless when you were a kid, but now you too think they are quite unnecessary.
24. There’s nothing exciting about turning 26. 13 was the start of teen-age, 16 was oh so sweet, 18 meant you were legally an adult, at 21 you could buy yourself a drink and drive (though not in that order), 24 sounded sexy, at 25 you could rent a car at the normal insurance rate. Nothing at 26 – nothing at all!
25. The most important of them all, 26 is too close to 30 (ouch, can’t think of that number).
26. And ofcourse, to put it plain and simple, you are too young to be 26. You barely got over your teens sometime back!

Clichéd

Forgotten promises
Broken wings
Stifled aspirations
Disappointed joy
Wasted beauty
Sickening heights
Heartening sorrow
Tumultuous depths
Futile wins
Enriching failures
Abandoned plans
Hasty decisions
Anchorless home
Inviting shores
Painful learning
Saccharine hurt
Bitter bond
Unknown acquaintance
Forgiven ties
Continuous darkness
Luminous halo
Critical steps
Steep climb
Illusive destination

My experiments with Murphy’s Laws

It has almost become a cliché to blame good ol’ Murphy for anything that goes awry. Nevertheless, I staunchly believe in the perversity of this universe. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong and especially when it matters to you the most.

Murphy’s laws are universal truths and my life has been a sort of revelation, an unfolding of events that hence prove these.

And so here is a list of Murphy’s laws (there’s a long list, these are only the Top 5) that almost always apply to me and are largely responsible for the dynamics of my being:

Murphy's First Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall reach office at 8:30 AM with the earnest determination to leave by 5:30 PM to make it to the airport to see off my relatives. The following shall happen:

• Nobody shall notice my early arrival.
• My boss who is otherwise such a chilled out guy shall schedule an urgent must-attend meeting from 5:00 PM to 6 PM.
• I shall take permission to leave mid-way.
• The meeting shall start only at 5:30 PM.
• I shall sheepishly excuse myself at 5:45 PM.
• It shall rain and rain like there was going to be no tomorrow.
• There shall be traffic jams and it shall take me double and triple the time to reach my destination.
• I shall miss meeting the relatives and the meeting at work!

Murphy's Second Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall enter a shopping mall at 11:00 AM to pick up only one nice top to go with the white skirt I bought long back. The following shall happen:

• I shall not find a single decent top till 2:30 PM.
• At 2:30 PM, I shall hit the food court to feed my starving self.
• At 3:00 PM, I shall find this awesome pair of denim capri pants I always wanted.
• The queue for the trial rooms shall be longest I have ever known.
• At 5:00 PM, I shall have still not found the top, but would have blown up considerable cash on other unplanned shopping.
• At 6:00 PM, my husband’s face shall turn crimson and scarlet, and an ultimatum of 7:30 PM shall be issued.
• At 7:15 AM, I shall be in the process of finalizing the top, but again the queue at the trial rooms and the billing counters shall be sooo looooooooooong that I shall be forced to give up.
• The Friday dinner I would have worn the dress to shall have atleast one girl wearing a beautiful top with a nice skirt – the kind I wanted!

Murphy's Third Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be wearing my new 4-inch stilettos to a get-together. The following shall happen:

• Everybody shall complement on how they suit me – blah blah. However, serious concerns shall be raised on my ability to walk in them - steadily and with stability.
• I shall revel in all the attention, rubbish all the concerns, and boast of my comfort with heels. “Oh c’mon, check out what my mom wears; it runs in my blood!”
• Everybody shall be in awe of me and the way I strut around elegantly in my stilts.
• The day shall proceed well, but right at the time of leaving, I shall miss a step and lose my balance.
• Everybody shall give me the “See, we told you” glances. (Oh, how I wish I could just erase such moments!)

Murphy's Fourth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall decide to drive to work. The following shall happen:

• The fire brigade or the garbage truck shall decide to park at the corner I have to make a right turn.
• All traffic shall be unusually fast.
• There shall be five cars before me and five cars after, but the traffic signal shall change from green to yellow, right when it’s my turn.
• The lane that I use the most (slowest one ofcourse!) shall be blocked for repair.
• The office parking lot shall have no parking spaces available on the first level.
• All spacious parking spaces shall be taken.
• I shall be late to work, my husband irritable and thus my driving shall be demoted to grocery store parking lots!

Murphy's Fifth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be sincerely working all day on a presentation due the next day. The following shall happen:

• The one time when I am checking my gmail, my boss shall plan to make a stop at my cube.
• The approver shall need a hard copy and the nearest printer shall run out of paper.
• I shall walk to the other end of the floor to pick up the print out only to realize that the notes have not been printed.
• The approver shall take a sick leave the next day.
• By the time, I find an alternate approver and get the ball rolling; the agenda of the presentation shall change.

Obviously, I have an endless list - maybe more shall follow in a later post :).

Fettered freedoms...

I do not understand the meaning of freedom completely.

I do not know what freedom means to me. Not completely. Am I free? Free of what?

I do not beleive in absolutes and that is not the only impediment in my attempt to comprehend the concept that is "freedom". I tie myself in knots everytime I try to explore the essence of the word.

Language deceives. We have simple terms to denote complex emotions.

However, a long time ago I read Kahlil Gibran. And continue to read him again and again. He talks about freedom - a sense of freedom that I relate to, and that provides a more panoramic view of the perception that is 'freedom'.

"At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom,

Even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise
him though he slays them.

Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel
I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke
and a handcuff.

And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even
the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when
you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.

You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care
nor your nights without a want and a grief,

But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above
them naked and unbound.

And how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you
break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding
have fastened around your noon hour?

In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains,
though its links glitter in the sun and dazzle the eyes.

And what is it but fragments of your own self you would discard
that you may become free?

If it is an unjust law you would abolish, that law was written with
your own hand upon your own forehead.

You cannot erase it by burning your law books nor by washing the
foreheads of your judges, though you pour the sea upon them.

And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne
erected within you is destroyed.

For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny
in their own freedom and a shame in their own pride?

And if it is a care you would cast off, that care has been chosen
by you rather than imposed upon you.

And if it is a fear you would dispel, the seat of that fear is in your heart
and not in the hand of the feared.

Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace,
the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the
pursued and that which you would escape.

These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling.

And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers
becomes a shadow to another light.

And thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter
of a greater freedom".

- Kahlil Gibran

Recording progress...

Folks, now is confession time!

What I started off with great pomp and show in one of my blog posts a while back (see here), has not progressed as well as I had promised myself. It has been more than a month since I first sketched and today my count remains at a measly four, which is quite an awful total given the fact that I've had ample free time at my disposal.

I have sat through some extremely lame and lousy Rakhi ka Swayamvar (an Indian version of Rock of Love and other ridiculous Bachelor and Bachelorette reality shows) episodes, wiled away my precious time reading John Grisham (not that he is a bad author, but then not the best to spend my wide-awake creative hours on), engaged in day dreaming, and spent extra hours surfing news sites even though all give the same "breaking" news! All this when I could have invested serious hours in upgrading my drawing and sketching skills. I am hoping a public self-admonition works.

Okay, so here's a status update. After my first sketch of a rural landscape (see here), I did another one - somewhat similar. I personally love the way you can play around with the oft-used "hut". As a subject, it offers great depth and is a more visually appealing sight compared to the concrete jungles we city slickers dwell in.

Here it is:

I came across this really beautiful picture of a devastated tree (yes, I get the irony there but it was not intended), devastated by lightning perhaps. The sketch does not come very close to reality, but perhaps provides a different angle (quite literally) to the traditional depictions of a tree.

Sketching the human face is, ofcourse, an artist's envy. I cannot sketch a person, simply by observing him or her, and don't even think I'll ever be able to do that. Nevertheless, I tried copying from a picture. The front view is the most difficult to get, and yes, I screwed it up.

With that, I have pretty much given up on frontal views for the time being.

In the process of creating the following sketch, I figured out that side profiles are easier to depict as symmetry ceases to be an issue. You don't have to worry about the alignment of the eyes, the nostrils (I mean it) etc etc. I could have got this one better had I been a little more patient with the initial drawing (please ignore the nose, it wasn't meant to be like this). This is the one thing about sketching, if the initial drawing is not well proportioned, however well you sketch, the effect is dampened. Oh Lord, I only learn lessons, never get to implement them.

Freud said, "From error to error, one discovers the entire truth", and so I hope it shall be. Amen.