An Open Letter to Facebook

Dearest Facebook, 

I have been an FB loyalist (bordering on an addict) since the last four years now. 

No, I may not have grown crops or tended the cattle but I have painstakingly taken most of the quizzes my friends asked me to even if it meant answering what my favorite color was only to know that I am supposed to be married in 2012, when I already have been at the altar way before, but never mind that.

Though I am guilty of ignoring help requests on mafia wars, I have tried to honestly reply every time I 'visited' my own profile and you asked me "What's on your mind?"

I have lol'ed and rofl'ed on PJs my connections posted, I have graciously "liked" and "commented" on crazy pics, I have controlled my rising temper at being poked unnecessarily by random strangers, I have kept my wall 'well-posted', and myself updated on all the notifications...

Over the years, I have patiently put up with all your makeovers and supposedly improvised look and feel (s); I have even indulged your eccentricities via blogger, twitter and the now extinct Orkut...

...And all that I ask in return is please STOP complicating the user experience - whatever happened to the KISS principle - Keep It Short and Simple! You introduce Friend Lists to help me control better what I share with whom and then you go ahead and come up with this totally insane idea of 'Subscriptions'. Why the hell would I want to subscribe to someone I am not even friends with - Do not give me the TWITTER example - I'd rather tweet instead! 

One reason, I haven't dated Google Chrome as yet is because it tried to do too many things for me. And that's exactly where you are headed, darling FB.

Now, I login to FB and can't figure out where my lists are amidst all the clutter. I am still struggling to find out how to see the friends in a particular list.

A 100 usability experts might come up with a 1000 reasons on why the new interface is better, and over time I will get used to it and even find it convenient, but then like someone very aptly "shared":

I realise that this is your way to use new tricks to keep the old flame alive, but my love, take this tiff in the right spirit, and always remember to pls KISS and make up!

With all my love,

A slightly jilted (us)(lov)er

The Myth of Sisyphus

Even if you are not half the FB addict that I am, I bet you must have noticed the "On This Day in 20XX" notifications that pop-up on your sidebar in Facebook, giving your status updates on the same dates for the previous years. It's like a forced trip down memory lane, but guess what - I am not complaining. 

I am totally enjoying not only reading my old status messages (yeah, yeah, go ahead and call me a narcissist :P) but also all the comment threads that follow. It is super fun - ofcourse, you need to be jobless enough to (a) notice the side bar, and (b) have the time to read all the old stash - but then oh well!

What made me write this post was this uncanny coincidence...so the following was my status message on this day in 2010, where I mention feasting on butterscotch icecream. 

Surprisingly (or not), I am doing exactly the same thing today - binging on butterscotch icecream - I swear which is not my favorite flavor. 

And thus, I was reminded of Albert Camus. The Myth of Sisyphus, anyone? In a way, I am where I was and continue to do what I was doing - 12 months just sneaked in from nowhere. I have always sworn by Camus' philosophy of absurdity and the futility of human life, and with each passing year my conviction only gets stronger - there is an inherent pointlessness in all the toil and the days that go by...

(However, with this realization I am still not going to give up my material (or online) possessions or obsessions - because if everything is meaningless, then I'd rather scrounge for the pseudo yet satisfying sense of satisfaction that these little (!) things give me - so don't worry, I am here to stay :D).

Coming back to FB and Camus - it is kind of oxymoronic to say this - but both continue to rock (till a more profound tragic moment of self realization hits me)!

Oh yes, hello September!

The yardstick for FB addiction...

...just went up a couple of notches :P!

I am fairly square and straight when it comes to talking about my affection (read addiction) for social networking sites, especially, Facebook. I am hooked on to it irreparably and have no qualms about it.

It is rare to find people who are as active or more active than me ... And believe me, I am not ashamed about it, though I do flash my sheepish grin when friends and family go out of their way to point out my hyper active status on FB!

However, it seems, I do have competition. Recently, I was thrilled to come across two dogs' profiles on FB...yes you heard that right!

So there's somebody I know who owns two dogs and each of them have their own profiles. The relationship status reads married (yep, the two dogs are apparently tied in holy matrimony) and they have their respective profile pics, friend lists, etc...

My hubby's first reaction was CRAZY! My first reaction was SUPER CUTE!

I have seen parents who are quick to create FB profiles for their new borns and children (and I will reserve my comment on that), then why leave pets who are such an integral part of your family?

Now c'mon, don't do the "utilitarian" argument with me...just sit back and "awwww...." at it... :D

Not now!

(A Facebook addict like me should have posted this much earlier, but oh well!)

Ok guys, FB adds a new step to the friend request denial procedure – Not Now.

A simple Yes and No, or in FB terms, Confirm and Ignore has now become:

Step 1: Confirm and Not Now

Step 2: Confirm and Delete Request

My initial reaction to this feature was WTF! Either I want the requestor to be on my friend’s list or I don’t; what’s with the unnecessary grey area in the middle?

But then, social networking could easily be as complicated as rocket science itself!

If you thought managing relationships was a difficult task; it becomes even more formidable on cyber space.

Here are the broad categories most friend requests I receive fall in:

I The genuine friends...

...Those who make FB well worth the time I spend on it: lost and found childhood companions, friends from school and college, neighborhood peers, colleagues from work!

II Relatives...

...Those I am very close to and those that I have seldom met. I don’t really mind family on FB and so long have been able to manage pretty well :D!

III The one-time met/seen/heard of acquaintances...

These are people I could easily qualify as weirdoes, if not stalkers. Your friend’s cousin’s friend you got introduced to at a mall; a colleague at work you attended a meeting with or saw at the coffee vending machine, and have never spoken to before or after that – forget spoken to – have never acknowledged his/her presence before or after that; the guy who helped you with your hand baggage in the plane (yes, I got one such friend request – we never even exchanged our names, so I am guessing he peeped into my boarding pass – how nightmarish!)

IV The complete strangers...

...The “do you want to do friendship with me”-“your profile pic looks great, so let’s be friends” category.

Till September, I was confidently using the Ignore option for the last category.

It was the third category of requests that left me in a fix to decide among the following options:

• Should I be politically correct and go ahead and add the person and later tweak my privacy settings?
• Do I care about social proprietary? FB is my personal space and I decide whom to share it with.
• Defer the decision.

Though the last option was quite convenient, FB would regularly pop the reminder, making me feel a tad bit guilty (gosh, I take FB way too seriously, don’t I?).

So now, the Not Now option comes to my rescue. It aids me in my indecisiveness – I can conveniently brush your request under the carpet – hide it, as per FB terminology, and never have to deal with my conscience because there are no reminders – yayay – how convenient!

Did I hear you smirk? Yes, I belong to the easy-way-out generation – why not? I have no qualms about it!

Therefore, my initial WTF reaction to Not Now has been now transformed to “not bad”.

Though I have always detested people who fall in the maybe-maybe not category when it comes to answering questions – be it in surveys or interviews or etc, I really don’t seem to mind it on social networking sites.

What FB could have done to make things easier is that they could have added a third button in Step 1 itself – Delete request.

So, at one go I can decide whether to hide the request for Category 3 or simple delete and report spam/block for Category 4. A simple usability enhancement!

What say? Not now?