And there is so much more of Murphy...

A long long time ago I did a post on how Murphy has a habit of ruining my life given the inherent perversity  of this seamless universe - you can read the post on my experiments with Murphy's laws here.

I would be surprised if the universal truths I had documented years ago were no longer good - but aren't there more shocks to life than surprises?

Here are a few more Murphy-isms I am being subjected to.

• Just when the tea is about to boil over, will something more urgent distract my attention. It will be that very second I would have turned that there will be spilled tea all over the burner.

• I will wait all week for the supposedly shipped Amazon order to arrive, but the USPS/Fedex guy will find precisely that moment when I am in the shower to knock at the door. I will then have to take his note to the leasing office and hopefully not the shipping center to pick up my package.

• After a long hiatus, I'll somehow pull my lethargic self out to go the the gym and that very day the gym will be closed for maintenance activity.

• The only day that I choose to go on a quick evening walk will Vish decide to come home early from work to give me a surprise, and end up being surprised at my absence.

• I will wait all day for the maintenance guy from the leasing office to show up to fix the fused bulb and he will choose to arrive the only time in the whole month that I would have put a face pack. Out-of-season Halloween for the poor guy!

• Right when it is the time to take out the dish from the oven, will my gloves mysteriously  go missing and completely out of sight - resulting in unnecessary chaos and distress.

• After putting the clothes in the washer, I'll occupy myself with other chores in order to multitask only to forget till after a couple of hours that I haven't put them in the dryer yet.

• And I think, this one's the worst - I'll rationalize with Vish how picking up a bar of Snickers at the checkout lane of Walmart/Target is not a bad idea - 140 calories for all the walking around seems reasonable. And lo, behold, the check out lane we chose does NOT have snickers on the panels. I mean, I seriously doubt, who controls our lives more God or Mr. Murphy?

How is your equation with Murphy?

My experiments with Murphy’s Laws

It has almost become a cliché to blame good ol’ Murphy for anything that goes awry. Nevertheless, I staunchly believe in the perversity of this universe. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong and especially when it matters to you the most.

Murphy’s laws are universal truths and my life has been a sort of revelation, an unfolding of events that hence prove these.

And so here is a list of Murphy’s laws (there’s a long list, these are only the Top 5) that almost always apply to me and are largely responsible for the dynamics of my being:

Murphy's First Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall reach office at 8:30 AM with the earnest determination to leave by 5:30 PM to make it to the airport to see off my relatives. The following shall happen:

• Nobody shall notice my early arrival.
• My boss who is otherwise such a chilled out guy shall schedule an urgent must-attend meeting from 5:00 PM to 6 PM.
• I shall take permission to leave mid-way.
• The meeting shall start only at 5:30 PM.
• I shall sheepishly excuse myself at 5:45 PM.
• It shall rain and rain like there was going to be no tomorrow.
• There shall be traffic jams and it shall take me double and triple the time to reach my destination.
• I shall miss meeting the relatives and the meeting at work!

Murphy's Second Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall enter a shopping mall at 11:00 AM to pick up only one nice top to go with the white skirt I bought long back. The following shall happen:

• I shall not find a single decent top till 2:30 PM.
• At 2:30 PM, I shall hit the food court to feed my starving self.
• At 3:00 PM, I shall find this awesome pair of denim capri pants I always wanted.
• The queue for the trial rooms shall be longest I have ever known.
• At 5:00 PM, I shall have still not found the top, but would have blown up considerable cash on other unplanned shopping.
• At 6:00 PM, my husband’s face shall turn crimson and scarlet, and an ultimatum of 7:30 PM shall be issued.
• At 7:15 AM, I shall be in the process of finalizing the top, but again the queue at the trial rooms and the billing counters shall be sooo looooooooooong that I shall be forced to give up.
• The Friday dinner I would have worn the dress to shall have atleast one girl wearing a beautiful top with a nice skirt – the kind I wanted!

Murphy's Third Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be wearing my new 4-inch stilettos to a get-together. The following shall happen:

• Everybody shall complement on how they suit me – blah blah. However, serious concerns shall be raised on my ability to walk in them - steadily and with stability.
• I shall revel in all the attention, rubbish all the concerns, and boast of my comfort with heels. “Oh c’mon, check out what my mom wears; it runs in my blood!”
• Everybody shall be in awe of me and the way I strut around elegantly in my stilts.
• The day shall proceed well, but right at the time of leaving, I shall miss a step and lose my balance.
• Everybody shall give me the “See, we told you” glances. (Oh, how I wish I could just erase such moments!)

Murphy's Fourth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall decide to drive to work. The following shall happen:

• The fire brigade or the garbage truck shall decide to park at the corner I have to make a right turn.
• All traffic shall be unusually fast.
• There shall be five cars before me and five cars after, but the traffic signal shall change from green to yellow, right when it’s my turn.
• The lane that I use the most (slowest one ofcourse!) shall be blocked for repair.
• The office parking lot shall have no parking spaces available on the first level.
• All spacious parking spaces shall be taken.
• I shall be late to work, my husband irritable and thus my driving shall be demoted to grocery store parking lots!

Murphy's Fifth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be sincerely working all day on a presentation due the next day. The following shall happen:

• The one time when I am checking my gmail, my boss shall plan to make a stop at my cube.
• The approver shall need a hard copy and the nearest printer shall run out of paper.
• I shall walk to the other end of the floor to pick up the print out only to realize that the notes have not been printed.
• The approver shall take a sick leave the next day.
• By the time, I find an alternate approver and get the ball rolling; the agenda of the presentation shall change.

Obviously, I have an endless list - maybe more shall follow in a later post :).