High on life…

…That’s exactly what Zindagi Naa Milegi Dobara (ZNMD) is. A ‘bromantic’ film extolling the free spirit of living – the need to break out of the complacent cobwebs cocooning our existence, seize the ‘now’, and just breathe!

All comparisons to The Hangover and Dil Chaahta Hai do injustice to the film– Yes, there are the three amigos, out on a road trip to celebrate a bachelor party – but then that’s it. The Hangover was over the top, slapstick humor and Dil Chaahta Hai was not only a lot funnier but frothier too, with a reasonably fast paced script.

ZNMD runs deeper, and slower - to be honest, there are parts where you end up questioning the editor’s competency – but the unhurried execution also brings with it a sort of placidity and tranquility that is quite impactful. It has its really hilarious light moments – but is not an all-out laugh riot - the story tries to make space for some mature introspection on the journey of life and the confusion of growing up – with its effervescence and its vicissitudes. ZNMD does touch your heart – no escaping that.

The movie is replete with symbolism ingenuously weaved in with the story line - The letting go, the breaking free, the loss of fear, the baggage of yesterday, the beauty of today, the uncertainty of tomorrow…

In fact, the movie’s key emotion is a line from one of its songs…

“chaahat ke do pal bhi mil paayein

duniya mein yeh bhi kam hai kya

do pal ko to aao kho jaayein

bhoolein hum hota ghum hai kya”

(If we get but only a few moments of love

In this world, isn’t that enough?

For these few moments, let’s lose our selves

And forget the sadness of life)

The cast couldn’t be more perfect. Hrithik Roshan is at his sexiest best – I mean there is more to him in the movie than just the drop-dead gorgeous brawn physique, but his screen presence is simply awesome. Farhan Akhtar as the brattier brat with a poetic underline is so super convincing and believable. Abhay Deol is charming and classy, and does make a distinct mark among the trio. I simply loved the way each character stood on his own…they were so real, likeable – just like you’d be with your close buddies.

The camaraderie they share grows on you as the movie progresses – it seems so natural – the restrained reunion to the intense emotional bonding.

The leading ladies, Katrina and Kalki, do not have too much of a role and they just fit in without overdoing their parts – thank god for that :D!

The music is good but not very exceptional. The songs go well with the movie and are quite pleasant to the ear. Love the Senorita number…Check it out here…

The cinematography of the movie is simply superb – the wondrous beauty of Spain caught so well on camera, with Farhan Akhtar’s (Jaaved Akhtar rules!) poetry or rather shaayari as a perfect companion to the vast and limitless expanse of the water beneath and the deep blue sky above...

“Pighlay neelam sa behta hua yeh samaan

Neeli neeli si khamoshiyaan

Na kahin hai zameen

Na kahin aasmaan

Sarsaraati huyi tehniyaan, pattiyaan

Keh rahi hain ki bas ek tum ho yahaan

Sirf main hoon meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein

Aisi gehraiyaan

Aisi tanhaiyaan

Aur main sirf main

Apne honay pe mujhko yaqeen aa gaya”

(This moment flows by like molten sapphire

Deep Blue silences

No Earth below

No Sky above

The rustling branches and leaves

Saying that only you are here

Only me, My breath, My heartbeat

Such depth like this

Such loneliness like this

And me only me

I now believe I exist)

Leaving you on that note, with a 7/10 for this one. Go watch it for the love of life :)!

(P.S. I really want someone to make a tasteful movie on women having a fun reunion and reliving their old friendships. Don’t you think we women are also nostalgic about our girly gossips and all the fun we had growing up with each other – what say?)

[Image Source: Google Images]

Corvus splendens' Combat!

Absolutely a first for me! Two crows beating the crap out of the third.

I am sure the cause of the brawl must have been really grave to have incited such ire - I swear it was damn scary - there was heavy duty beak poking and wings flying all over.

Interestingly the the rest of the crow fraternity was enjoying the action, at a safe distance, from different trees.

Though I did what I usually do best in cases of street fights of any species - that is, scuttle for safety - I couldn't help but feel amused at the so many parallels between us humans and the common crows. I am listing down some here, feel free to add on...

- For starters, both crows and human beings are essentially noisy species - The cacophony of the kaaa kaaa is as irritating as the ruckus created by most people in any public place!

- Then ofcourse, this fighting on the streets, without trying to sit across the table (urr, or tree) and resolving issues amicably...

- The most striking one - not trying to help when you see trouble - watch from a safe distance, and bet on who's going to win.

- Quite significantly (and I swear I am not inspired by Delhi Belly here) - shit anywhere and everywhere!

- To generally sum up both species don't seem to care a damn about the comfort of those who happen to unfortunately exist around them...

...Not to mention that crows and human beings have the uncanny ability to survive just about anywhere and under the trashiest of circumstances!

I am done with my share, over to you now...

[Image source: Google images (You didn't expect me to have the presence of mind to take out my phone and steal a pic, did yaa!]

7 Minutes

The piquant sacchariferous reek of jasmine flowers

The clamor of the vegetable hawkers and the fruit sellers

The dogs and human beings competing for the same stretch of space

The rush of the sea of commuters rising and ebbing in waves

The undecipherable announcements on the screechy microphone

The shriek of the siren and the halting breaks

The cacophony of women exchanging notes on food and family

The drooping backs under the heavily loaded school bags

The grey ash smeared foreheads

The long never ending queues at dirty windows

The red, yellow, black and blue lunch satchels

The hand-bags clutched close to the bodies

The constant elbowing to find one’s way

The stepping on the other’s toe without an apology

The stinking perspiration of the Indian summer heat

The family of four tip-toeing on the lesser used distant tracks

The wannabe heroes hanging on the foot boards

The wandering flirtatious glance of the guy with the ID tag

The indulgent smile by the salt and pepper haired gentleman

The neighbor’s humming to the latest hit on his ipod

The low-toned mushy romantic tête-à-tête on cell phones

The dexterously fast-paced texting fingers

The assembly of the men with white walking sticks

The folded creases of the morning newspaper

The rattling of the bowls for alms

The wind in your hair, the dust in your face, the urgency in your step…

…The seven most crowded and happening minutes!

Delhi Belly: Shit (and a whole load of it) Happens

From the initial rushes of it, Delhi Belly didn't look like my kinda movie (It still doesn't qualify as one :D). Too boorish, hard hitting, loud and need I say very uncouth.

However, the 'I am screaming to be heard and seen' attitude in the promos and the songs did the trick. The marketing of the movie as a path breaking genre in Indian cinema that today's youth could identify with and then the endless controversies on the use of expletives - made me sit up and take notice. You cannot ignore DK Bose doing the rounds on all music channels - news channels included too!

And off I went with a friend to a Sunday morning (9:50 AM) show of Delhi Belly - the most abusive start a morning can ever get. So what's the verdict? Well my initial opinion remains unchanged - too boorish, hard hitting, loud and need I say very uncouth.

So I regretted going? NO.

Inspite of all the muck and the fuck that I genuinely don't appreciate on screen - I mean there is an extent to which you can throw shit (quite literally) at the audience, and I sincerely believe that punctuating every word with all the known and unknown abuses in Hindi and English (Tamil was also used :)) may not necessarily be required in order to connect with the so called "today's youth" - YET, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Both of us were in splits - laughing are guts out even as every few minutes we would look at each other and shake our heads disapprovingly of the irreverently burlesque happenings on screen! And to be really honest that's all there is to the movie - 1.5 hours of constant LOL and ROFL and LMAO moments that make this almost slapstick comedy genuinely hilarious!

The plot is racy and the 90 minutes are well packaged - a complete paisa vasool for all the RBCs one would generate with such hearty laughs. The screenplay is flawless in execution and the actors have scored a perfect 10 with their comic timing and dialog delivery. The song tracks bring in great pace and feel to the movie even as you wished you hadn't seen the stinking loo with the rickety flush and the dirty pot holes of old Delhi that are such an eye sore.

Delhi Belly takes realism to a new abstracted level. (I am sorry if the sentence reads oxymoronic, but I know you understand what I mean ;)). The seemingly obvious, very probable, expected and logical situations are hurled around with a perspective that brings out so much filth, and surprisingly, so much humor - that much as I would have wanted to dismiss the movie as a crash course on swearing and shitting, I sit here highly amused recalling the scenes...

(...And in brackets, yes it's going to take a while till I rebuild an appetite for orange juice, and of course, street food.)

[Image source: Google images]

Companions

A broken butterfly wing

A creaking old swing

A moth half alive

A smoked bee-hive

A dirty lazy snail

A sluggish wet trail

A slippery chameleon

A stray dog so forlorn

A new-born birdie’s chirping

A temple bell’s tinkling

A pair of laces tied wrong

A melodious old song

A whiff of fresh air

A pervert’s creepy stare

A love struck couple

A graying man’s mumble

A lady offering prayers to god

A bright pink ipod

A beautiful virgin morning

And these my companions when I’m walking.

WTF Series: Episode 03: Stud Farm

Just when I thought that the reality TV scene in India had plummeted to the abysmal nadirs of the entertainment experience, the idiot box barfs another unmatched gem!

UTV Bindass launches a brand new reality show - Super Stud - to find the first super stud of India - believe me it is an impossible task because all the 13 contestants are more like burros - but then that's not the point I am making here.

So my peaceful Sunday TV surfing brought me to this show (yes I had nothing better to do on a Sunday evening) - the host of the show and a bunch of skimpily clad, mostly dumb women (apologize the judgmental tone to this, but I swear your opinion wouldn't have differed either) were oohing and aahing as the 13 hand picked studs were introduced one by one.

Every single guy who introduced himself prided in the number of girl friends he has had and the number of girl friends he has dated simultaneously - These are 20-somethings with wannabe six packs, hardly a qualification up their sleeves, no clear ambition, absolutely no innate talent (except that of making a fool of themselves), and a bloated sense of their masculinity, even if they figure pretty low on the good looking index. If you are interested in numbers - one guy boasted how he has had 900 girl friends and another how he dated 15 at a time!

Aah, the stone age is back - a guy's virility is proven with the number of women he can keep up with! Wow! On national TV, this is what we get and this is what we apparently endorse, and the most pissing off was the fact that all the women just awwwed (in appreciation)! I wonder if not a single one of them felt that it was derogatory and humiliating to be in a "stud farm" where the horse's, oops sorry, the donkey's mating prowess decides his hunk factor.

Not one of the guys thought he could be manly enough to say he has never had a girl friend cos for his face he couldn't get one! Or that he was shit scared of being caught and therefore never dated more than one at a time - or (and I am really trying my luck here) that I respect women and therefore have a girl friend whom I have never two-timed!

Seriously, WTF!

Wisdom Hurts…

And it hurts real bad!

I swear I have a genuine reason to crib this time, so humor me, please!

Ofcourse, you know that wisdom teeth or the third molars are vestigial organs (like the appendix) – basically redundant as over the span of human evolution they have lost their purpose, which was primarily to help grind down plant tissues and other raw foliage.

Now, the only known purpose they serve is to be the butt of jokes and give trouble to unsuspecting homo homo sapiens :P.

Apparently, for 35% of the people, the wisdom teeth never even appear. As far as luck, fate or destiny is concerned, I figure pretty low on the scale, so I am one of the unlucky 65% who have been blessed with complete wisdom (teeth).

A nasty tooth ache took me to the dentist and resulted in surgical “impaction” of my right upper and lower wisdom teeth. Three anesthesia injections and 90 minutes of constant prodding, tinkering, and drilling (the surgeon actually called it that) have not only left me half as wise but also with a swollen cheek (which by the way my MIL insists makes me look nice and chubby – no comments on that!), nagging pain on the right side of the face till the forehead, and a high-cal diet on sweet cold liquids – ice-cream included (stopped counting the oodles of fat I’m putting on in the process).

Gosh! Whoever, said “Ignorance is bliss” was truly wise!

Don’t even get me started on the ordeal the actual surgical process was. I don’t make a very good patient, so I fussed about the blood on the doc’s gloves – he insists I should keep my eyes open – I told him he then needs to wash his hands or change the gloves – there was actually a piece of my bone hanging on his glove – apologies for the grotesque description but just to tell you how unreasonable he was being!

And then there was his assistant who had stinking flowers in her hair (a very common sight in namma Chennai :))– I was already so nauseated and the stench of withering jasmine was getting on my nerves. I told her to get rid of it and she was so shocked! I guess I was the first patient to have done that to her. Sorry lady, don’t take it personally.

The surgeon redeemed himself by first asking me where I was studying (lo behold, the joy in my heart that he thought I was so young :D) and then at the end, saying, “Sorry for the tough time”! Nice dude; I actually was polite enough to manage a ‘thank you’ with all the cotton stuffed in my mouth.

So, while on that deadly chair, I was reminded of this poem we had as part of our syllabus in Grade 10 (if I remember correctly) – written by Ogden Nash, it’s titled, ‘This is going to hurt just a little bit’. For all those who have had to deal with dentists, this poem is a must read! And here it is for your reading pleasure:

“One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self-possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.

And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head that you aren’t being irked on…”

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstance that adds most to your terror

Is that it’s all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won’t get mixed up, the way you do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.

And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition

is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.”

[Image source: Google Images]

WTF Series: Episode 02: Random Incidents!

So, the CM of Uttar Pradesh, the rape capital of India has dismissed the surge of crimes against women in her state as “Random Incidents”. Here’s the official quote,

“UP is a populous state and we consider such cases as random incidents. It will be wrong to say that such incidents reflect on the ability of the administration”

Very true, with over 199 million people, UP is the most Indian populous state, and the world’s most populous sub-national entity.

Out of these 199 million people, the approximate total number of women would be less than 94 million (now the sex ratio being skewed is a whole new blog post!).

Of these 94 million women, in the last 48 hours, only 6 have been raped – Ofcourse these are random incidents!

I found some statistics around such “random incidents” – mind you, these are only in one financial year and ofcourse include only registered cases. In 2007-08, the state recorded 21,215 cases of violence, including 2,066 cases of dowry death, 1,532 cases of rape, and 3,819 cases of kidnapping.

I have only one question to the authorities concerned – so how many more women and girls should be raped and harassed and killed before we can conclusively state that crime against women is a disease in endemic proportions in so many states of India, especially UP, and needs a coordinated administrative and judicial effort to control it?

Seriously, WTF!

Introducing WTF Series and Episode 01

Prelude

Now, here’s something new I am thinking of starting – The WTF series! You know there are those times when you come across something really really atrocious and the first and the most emphatic exclamation that you can manage is WTF!...

...There’s nothing really to elaborate or blog about in detail but you cannot simply just ignore and maybe a tweet wouldn’t do full justice to it!

Well WTF series is going to be an episodic succession of such WTF moments (maybe personal ones too), news items, snippets, quotes, conversations, experiences and more! I aim to keep these posts fairly brief – all compiled under the tag WTF.

So how do you like the idea? I would love it if you readers and visitors also contributed to WTF episodes!

So here I go…

WTF: Episode 01

News Item: Maharashtra raises drinking age to 25!

So you can decide who rules the country by exercising voting rights, you can decide who rules your life by marrying them (legally!) and also have children. You can drive, choose a career, get promotions, earn salaries with 5 and 6 digits, have bank accounts, trade in stocks and shares, change your religion or citizenship, if you wish, and even smoke, BUT you cannot drink alcohol.

Seriously, WTF!

Washed away!

An exquisite pearl nestled on
the delicate bend of
a verdant olive blade;

That gentle venerate breeze
was just beginning to attempt
to court the demure divine bead;

When that sullen dark sky
bellowed in distraught,
and let out its fury.

The deluge that followed
washed away the traces
of what might have been
a wonderfully romantic morning.

(P.S. Please indulge me, I am trying to find my way back.)